The Ghosts Of The Past
by Rock Goddess94
Summary: "Kristine I miss you so much."I said with tears in my eyes."Bella I want us to do this last thing together.Do you remember the melody I hummed to you when you were little"She said as I nodded."Make a song out of it and do it for us"WHITIN TEMPTATION BASED
1. Chapter 1: The Begining

**HI PPL. I'M BACK WITH A NEW STORY AND I'VE BEEN HAVING SO MANY TROUBLES WITH 'INTO THE NIGHT' THAT IT'S ON STAND BY FOR A MOMENT. BUT MEANWHILE THIS IS MY NEW STORY AND I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS SMALL BUT DETAILED FIRST CHAPTER.**

**I WANNA THANK MY NEW BETA EDWARDCULLEN123 I LOVE YOUR SUPORT AND HAPPINESS TAHNK YOU!**

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It's raining. It's raining really hard and the energy is out. A thunder just cracked and even though I'm with the band I'm scared. Everybody is sleeping peacefully and like always I'm wide awake. I should be taking the sleeping pill Dr. Weber prescribed me but I'm too stubborn to care.

"Bella why are you up?" He asks me.

"You know why I'm up." I tell him. He sits beside me and hugs me.

"Baby please don't close up on me. You know that nothing is going to happen to you." Why does he have to be so right and so wrong?

"Edward you know that I'm a night person," I start telling him but he interrupts me.

"Yes B but I also know that when there is a storm you freak out." He tells me while hugging me hard and kissing my temple.

"I know but Edward you have to understand it's hard." I tell him.

"B you have to know that you are always safe with me. Don't you get it; I fucking love you so much that I would die for you." He says and kisses me with such passion that it hurts.

"Edward I love you too and thanks." I say snuggling into him.

We fall asleep in the couch; or rather he does, again I'm all to myself and my conflicted mind. It's been years since it happened and I've learned to control the pain and stress and anxiety that the memories cause me but sometime when I'm all alone the memories come back to haunt me.

_February 7, 2004. 11:02 pm._

"_Kris please can you stop speeding, all we need is to get stopped by the cops." I tell Kristine since she's speeding and we really don't need dad to see the police report of his two daughters being arrested for driving under the influence and with one of them being a minder. And to top it all it's raining cats and dogs. Ha ha, cats, dogs. Lol._

"_Oh come on Bella its way too late and its raining way to hard for the cops to see us." _

_CRASH. PAIN. DARKNESS. _

_The sweet melody she always sings is the last memory in my head before the darkness._

_I start to stir and it hurts. The lights are too bright. Where am I? White surrounds me. So much pain._

"_Bella?" I sad voice speaks to me._

_I try to speak but there is something that doesn't let me. "Sweetheart don't speak just yet let me go find the doctor." That sad, sad voice says to me while getting up._

_What happened?_

_Where am I?_

_Why can't I speak?_

_I look at my surrounding and immediately knew that I was in a hospital room._

_WHAT THE FUCK? I started to panic, the heart monitor started peeping really fast, Charlie, my dad entered the room and was followed by a doctor and a few nurses._

"_Isabella you need to calm down so we can take out the tube that is down your throat ok?" the beautiful doctor told me and surprisingly I did calm down enough for the nurses to take the tube out of my throat._

_After that he made me drink a lot of water before I talked. "Why am I here?" I said hoarsely._

"_Oh honey." My mom said as she started crying. WTF?_

"_Mom… where is Kristine?" I feared the worst, the only thing I remember is a lot of pain and… CRASH!_

"_Daddy where is she? She's ok right? She has to be." I said as tears started rolling down my face. NO!_

"_Isabella I think it's best for you to sleep and I know you're in pain so I'm going to give you some morphine." He said as he pressed a button and I started to drift._

_I was in a field or rather a meadow with a beautiful black dress. Far away I could see a beautiful blossomed tree and there was somebody there. When I got to the tree what I saw made me smile, it was Kristine in a beautiful white flowing dress and a beautiful white and violet lily behind her ear._

"_Hey little sis." She said to me._

"_Kristine why did you leave us?" I said but I wasn't sad, there was this peace in my heart that was in a way painful._

"_Oh baby sis, it was my time, after all what is waiting for you will be thanks to us both, me coming to visit in your dreams and you writing you beautiful song." She said as she grabbed my hands._

"_Please tell mom and dad that I love them, also tell them that I'm in a better place and to not cry my death because it will only cause pain and suffering, please Bella keep them together." She says hugging me and then, after releasing me she started walking away._

"_Kristine, am I ever going to see you again?" I said shedding tears._

"_Of course you are little sis." She said with a peaceful smile as she disappeared._

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	2. Chapter 2: Angels in Utopia

**HI PPL I'M INSPIRED... SO I WANT TO THANK MY BETA EDWARDCULLEN123 FOR BEING THERE FOR ME. ALSO MANY PPL HAVE PUT THIS STORY ON FAVORITE SO THANK YOU GUYS.**

**PICTURES ARE ON MY PROFILE LOOK THEM UP CHAPTER 1 AND 2.**

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CHAPTER 2

_I was in a field or rather a meadow with a beautiful black dress. Far away I could see a beautiful blossomed tree and there was somebody there. When I got to the tree what I saw made me smile, it was Kristine in a beautiful white flowing dress and a beautiful white and violet lily behind her ear._

"_Hey little sis." She said to me._

"_Kris I've missed seeing you." I tell her._

"_I know and I'm sorry, I just came to tell you to go to the audition. I love you little sis." She said as she hugged me and disappeared._

"Bella wakey, wakey; time to get up you." Angela said as she shook me.

"Ok I'm up, what can I do for you this morning my dear friend." I said as I got up to go to the bathroom. When I did I locked myself in and peed what I had in my bladder. As I did Angie told me that at New Moon records (where she worked), they were looking for a mezzo-soprano female singer for the band Silver Hearts since the former singer Tanya was fired by her own colleagues for being a pain in there asses. After hearing Angie say the name Silver Hearts my heart crumbled.

"Are you for real Angela? You not just fucking with me are you, because you know that I love that band and OMG I cannot believe they fired Tanya… ok I do but still, wow." I said while thinking about the band and how deep their lyrics were.

"Bella you have to audition." Angela said.

"WHAT? No fucking why Angie I…" I started saying but I immediately remembered what Kris had told me in this dream. _"I know and I'm sorry, I just came to tell you to go to the audition. I love you little sis." She said as she hugged me and disappeared._

"Fine I'll go." I said to Angie.

"What? OMG I love you." She said as she hugged me.

After that she called Silver Hearts' manager and told him that she thought that she had a singer, and then he proceeded to tell her that we (Caius the manager, Angela and me) should meet for lunch and that then we could all go to the studio and test my voice.

Once Angie was done with the call she told me to get showered and dressed so we could go have lunch. And it's currently 10:47 am.

I got finished with my shower in ten minutes and I went to my dresser and pulled out a beautiful 1960's black silk chiffon dress with a beautiful rhinestone waist. Then I went for simple makeup just a little black eyeliner and some Chapstick and I was ready at exactly 11:15 am.

I grabbed my ruby heart necklace that Kristine gave to me for my sixteenth birthday (after all I'm cancer and my birth stone is ruby for energy she gave it to me) and Angela being as classy as she is she was dress rather casual but businesslike since she sort of represented me.

As we got to the restaurant I could feel in my heart that this was going to be a really good thing. After meeting Caius, who was rather charming to say the least we ordered our lunch and we talked business. Caius told us that he was looking for a great voice but a shy voice, of course Angie said I was perfect but whatever; he also told us the real reason of why Tanya was fired and that was being a pain in the ass for everybody and have no respect what so ever for anybody and even the fans were starting to complain. Then Angie told him that even though I wasn't used to the fame and fortune that singing would bring if I indeed became a part of Silver Hearts, I could get used to it. She was right though, I've been through enough of changes to know what good for me and what's not.

Being a total gentleman, Caius pained the bill and told us to follow him to the studio where the band was recording 3 or 4 songs that Edward had written. When we got there I was a bit over whelmed since this was going way to fast but again I got the feeling that everything was going to go just perfect.

"Het guys I want you to meet Bella; she came here so you guys could hear her voice." Caius said as we entered the recording room.

"Bella," he said looking at me. "This is Emmitt our drummer," he said pointing to a very built guy who actually looked like he could eat me right until he smile and showed off a beautiful dimple included smile. "This is Rosalie our mezzo-soprano backup singer," he said pointing at a beautiful very blonde woman that was sitting on Emmitt's lap. "That's Jasper over there, he's our bassist and the pixie that's with him is Alice our soprano backup singer," he pointed at a built but not as much as Emmitt guy that has the same very blonde hair as Rosalie, and a small looking woman with very short spiky black hair and she's waving very spiritually at me. "Those over there are James and Victoria, he plays guitar and she's contralto backup singer." He said pointing at a beautiful red head woman and a very dirty blonde with long hair. "And we're missing Edward. Guys where is he?"

"Well I don't know who you're talking about but I'm here." Said a very beautiful and velvet voice. _He must be Edward._

"How are you?" he said looking at me.

"She's Bella; she came here for the audition for the new lead." Caius said.

"She's way to shy Caius can't you see she's about to bolt." He said with a smirk that I didn't return. _Ass hole._

"I am no shy and go head a put me to sing before I change my mind." I said in a rough tone. _No one talks to me like that._

"I think I like her Caius, let's get her to sing an easy one first so she can warm up and then she can sing a harder one." He said smiling sweetly at me. Like always I didn't' return the smile. _I haven't smiled in so long, god I miss you Kris, please give me strength._

"Hey Bella," said the pixie name Alice and all I did was look at her. "Do you know the song 'Utopia'?" _HA! Of course I do. _I thought to myself as I nodded.

"Edward get the guitar and give her the sheet of the song, oh Bella do you know how to play any kind of instrument?" She asked me.

"Yes I play the piano." I said to her.

"Ok then Mss. Bella show us what you got." Caius said.

He started playing. Edward started playing a beautiful elecroacoustic guitar and the beginning riff of 'Utopia'.

"_The burning desire  
To live and to roam free,  
It shines in the dark  
And it grows within me."_

"_You're holding my hand  
But you don't understand  
So where I am going  
You won't be in the end." _

Than Edward started singing.

"_I'm dreaming in colors  
Of getting the chance  
Of dreaming of trying the prefect romance  
The search of the door, to open your mind  
In search of the cure of mankind"_

We both started singing.

"_Help us we're drowning  
So close up inside  
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on Utopia?  
Why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?  
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia?  
How will the lights die down, telling us who we are?"  
_

I start singing and than he does. I grab my necklace for support and energy. I look at Alice and she's looking at me with a sad smile. '_She knows'. _A voice tells me.

_"I'm searching for answers, not given for free  
You're hurting inside, is there life within me?"_

_"You're holding my hand but you don't understand_  
_taking the road all alone in the end_  
_I'm dreaming in colors, no boundaries are there"_

_"I'm dreaming the dream, and I'll sing to share_  
_In search of the door, to open your mind_  
_In search of the cure of mankind"_

"_Help us; we're drowning  
So close up inside  
Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia  
Why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?  
Why does it rain, rain, rain, down on utopia?  
How will the lights die down, telling us who we are"_

_"Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia_  
_Why does it have to kill the ideal of who we are?_  
_Why does it rain, rain, rain down on utopia_  
_How will the lights die down, telling us who we are_  
_Why does it rain?"_

"Wow." I hear some of them say; I look at Edward and he has a weird smile on his face.

"Ok you _can_ sing Bella, now let's get her singing something harder… hmm, how about 'Angels" from our last album." He said. _Oh that tone is going to get him in trouble._

"Fine and by the way I don't need a sheet." I say and then Edward got up, took my hand and took me into the recording area.

"If you don't need it, than you wouldn't mind showing us how you record." He said.

After getting everything ready, I put the headphones on and the music started. I grabbed my necklace.

"_Sparkling angel I believe  
You were my savior in my time of need.  
Blinded by faith I couldn't hear  
All the whispers, the warnings so clear."_

"_I see the angels;  
I'll lead them to your door.  
There's no escape now,  
No mercy no more.  
No remorse cause I still remember"_

_"The smile when you tore me apart._  
_You took my heart,_  
_Deceived me right from the start._  
_You showed me dreams;_  
_I wished they'd turn into real._  
_You broke a promise and made me realize._  
_It was all just a lie."_

_"Sparkling angel, I couldn't see_  
_Your dark intentions, your feelings for me."_

"_Fallen angel, tell me why?  
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?"_

"_I see the angels,  
I'll lead them to your door  
There's no escape now  
No mercy no more  
No remorse cause I still remember"_

_"The smile when you tore me apart_  
_You took my heart,_  
_Deceived me right from the start._  
_You showed me dreams;_  
_I wished they'd turn into real._  
_You broke a promise and made me realize._  
_It was all just a lie._  
_Could have been forever._  
_Now we have reached the end."_

_"This world may have failed you,_  
_It doesn't give you reason why._  
_You could have chosen a different path in life."_

_"The smile when you tore me apart._  
_You took my heart,_  
_Deceived me right from the start._  
_You showed me dreams;_  
_I wished they'd turn into real._  
_You broke a promise and made me realize._  
_It was all just a lie._  
_Could have been forever._  
_Now we have reached the end."_

The whole studio erupted in cheers, sadly I wasn't feeling happy nor lucky, so I took the headphones off, I exited the room and the studio and headed for the bathroom. When I got there, I went in a stool and cried.

"Bella." A soft voice said. "Are you here?" She said.

I dried my tears and exited the stool to face Alice.

"Yeah Alice I'm here." I said and she hugged. And just like a few seconds ago I started crying again.

"It's ok Bella, everything will be ok." She repeated over and over again as she rubbed my back.

After a few minutes I calmed down and I looked at her and thanked her but all she said what that I'll be ok eventually. Then she grabbed my hand and took me back to the studio to where Caius was talking to Angela about a contract or something like that.

"Are you ok B?" Angie asked me after finishing with Caius. All I could do was nod.

"Well Bella I think your voice is just beautiful and I don't think the band wants anyone that isn't you so we'll be in touch for you to sign our contract, how's that?" Caius said. _WOW!_

"Thank you." Was all I could say.

After saying good bye to the band, Angela and I went to our house and she said that we needed to celebrate so she went to buy champagne while I called my parents to tell them the good news.

"Hello." My mom answered.

"Hey mom, could you get dad I need to tell you guys something." I said and my mom called Charlie.

"Hey sweetheart, what's going on?" My dad said.

"I'm singing again."

Silence.

"And Angela took me today to the studio and I'm the new lead singer of Silver Hearts."

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**RG94**


	3. Chapter 3: White As The Snow Pale

**HI PPL. WOW 2 CHAPTER IN 1 DAY MY MIND IS WILD TODAY. HOPE YOU LIKE IT.**

**THE SONG IN HERE IS NAMED 'PALE' BY WITHIN TEMPTATION.**

**EVERY SONG HERE IN THIS STORY IS BY WITHIN TEMPTATION.**

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CHAPTER 3

"_Hello." My mom answered._

"_Hey mom, could you get dad I need to tell you guys something." I said and my mom called Charlie._

"_Hey sweetheart, what's going on?" My dad said._

"_I'm singing again." _

_Silence._

"_And Angela took me today to the studio and I'm the new lead singer of Silver Hearts." _

More silence.

"Bella are you sure your ready to sing again?" Renee asked with worry on her voice.

"Mom I had another dream." I told them.

"And what did she say sweetheart?" Charlie said.

"She told me to go to the audition, I know she wouldn't have wanted for me to stop singing dad, and that's what I did since she died and… the feeling of singing again was so overwhelming and amazing I've missed it a lot." I said as I started crying.

After telling them that the said that they would support me no matter what and I believed them because Kristine would have done that no matter what.

_**~One Month Later~**_

_I was in a field or rather a meadow with a beautiful black dress. Far away I could see a beautiful blossomed tree and there was somebody there. When I got to the tree what I saw made me smile, it was Kristine in a beautiful white flowing dress and a beautiful white and violet lily behind her ear._

"_Hey little sis." She said to me._

"_Hey Kris." I said with a smile._

"_Bella today you will start recording with the people who will become your family and today you will compose a song with the feeling of this." She said with a tear rolling down her face._

_It all turns black. Pure and undefined blackness._

_February 7, 2004. 11:02 pm._

"_Kris please can you stop speeding, all we need is to get stopped by the cops." I tell Kristine since she's speeding and we really don't need dad to see the police report of his two daughters being arrested for driving under the influence and with one of them being a minder. And to top it all it's raining cats and dogs. Ha ha, cats, dogs. Lol._

"_Oh come on Bella its way too late and it's raining way to hard for the cops to see us." _

_CRASH. PAIN. DARKNESS. _

_The sweet melody she always sings is the last memory in my head before the darkness._

_I start to stir and it hurts. The lights are too bright. Where am I? White surrounds me. So much pain._

"_Bella?" I sad voice speaks to me._

_I try to speak but there is something that doesn't let me. "Sweetheart don't speak just yet let me go find the doctor." That sad, sad voice says to me while getting up._

_What happened?_

_Where am I?_

_Why can't I speak?_

_I look at my surrounding and immediately knew that I was in a hospital room._

_WHAT THE FUCK? I started to panic, the heart monitor started peeping really fast, Charlie, my dad entered the room and was followed by a doctor and a few nurses._

"_Isabella you need to calm down so we can take out the tube that is down your throat ok?" the beautiful doctor told me and surprisingly I did calm down enough for the nurses to take the tube out of my throat._

_After that he made me drink a lot of water before I talked. "Why am I here?" I said hoarsely._

"_Oh honey." My mom said as she started crying. WTF?_

"_Mom… where is Kristine?" I feared the worst, the only thing I remember is a lot of pain and… CRASH!_

"_Daddy where is she? She's ok right? She has to be." I said as tears started rolling down my face. NO!_

I wake up. I'm breathing harshly and I'm sweating. I haven't dreamed of the crash in so long. Inspiration, I'm all alone. I start to write in my journal the song that Kris said I was going to write.

**_The world seems not the same, though I know nothing has changed. It's all my state of mind, I can't leave it all behind…  
__Have to try to break free from the thoughts in my mind. Use the time that I have, I can't say goodbye, have to make it right. Have to fight, cause I know in the end it's worthwhile, that the pain that I feel slowly fades away…  
_… _Despite how I feel inside, have to trust it'll be alright. Have to stand up to be stronger.  
_… _No more pain, I'm floating away. Through the mist see the face of an angel, who calls my name. I remember you're the reason I have to stay._**

"Bella are you ready to go?" Angela asked through the locked door that let to my room.

"Give me 30 minutes and I'll be out." I said as I closed my journal and backed it in my bag and I got in the shower. When I was finished I got my violet with gold rhinestones long dress on and got my bag and I went on my way to the studio with Angie.

When we got to the studio we were the first ones there so, while Angela called Caius to tell him that we were here I went in the room where a beautiful black Steinway grand piano was. I sat down and from my bag I took out my journal and opened it where I had written the song.

And I started playing. Playing and singing; when I was down some one was applauding. _Edward._

"Is that a Bella original?" He asked. I nodded.

"Do you mind if I join in the fun and put some guitar to that wonderful song?" He asked. Why does he have to be so weird like that, it's just… a big turn on. _Oh god!_

"Sure, after all I was thinking that maybe I don't want to sing only your songs but also mine." I say.

"Well if all your songs have such deep and sad lyrics maybe it is a good idea." He said smiling sweetly at me.

When the entire band had arrived at the studio Edward decided that he only wanted 4 of his songs in the new album and that the rest I could write. _How convenient._

After showing my song to the band, only one person didn't want it in the album. _Rosalie. I don't know what her problem is with me but she looks at me with hatred._

So we started rehearsing and I help the girls get the notes of the song was a bit hard doing Alice since she's soprano but she got the notes pretty easily; with Victoria it was easy but she wanted to do something different so the song would have more happiness then I told her that the song was inspired in the death of someone I love and she went with it. Now with Rosalie that was another story, even though she did everything right her attitude was bugging me and I told her exactly that.

"Look Rosalie I don't know what your fucking problem is but I don't have to work with it, all I'm trying to do is be nice to you but you just don't want to either your attitude gets nicer or I'll get meaner, you got it?" I said getting really pissed.

"Thank god your tough girl because if you weren't you would've quit by now. And yeah I'll back off." She said with a smile-smirk.

_Thank god!_ So after the boys got the rhythm and melodies Caius said that we were ready to record our first song.

Emmitt went in a separate room from all of us; Alice, Rosalie and Victoria went in another one; Jasper and James in one and Edward and me in the main room.

_"The world seems not the same,_  
_Though I know nothing has changed._  
_It's all my state of mind,_  
_I can't leave it all behind._  
_Have to stand up to be stronger."_

_"Have to try to break free_  
_From the thoughts in my mind._  
_Use the time that I have,_  
_I can't say goodbye,_  
_Have to make it right._  
_Have to fight, cause I know_  
_In the end it's worthwhile,_  
_That the pain that I feel slowly fades away._  
_It will be alright."_

_"I know, should realize_  
_Time is precious, it is worthwhile._  
_Despite how I feel inside,_  
_Have to trust it'll be all right._  
_Have to stand up to be stronger."_

_"I have to try to break free_  
_From the thoughts in my mind._  
_Use the time that I have,_  
_I can't say goodbye,_  
_Have to make it right._  
_Have to fight, cause I know_  
_In the end it's worthwhile,_  
_That the pain that I feel slowly fades away._  
_It will be all right."_

_"Oh, this night is too long._  
_Have no strength to go on._  
_No more pain, I'm floating away._  
_Through the mist see the face_  
_Of an angel, who calls my name._  
_I remember you're the reason I have to stay."_

_"Have to try to break free_  
_From the thoughts in my mind._  
_Use the time that I have,_  
_I can't say goodbye,_  
_Have to make it right._  
_Have to fight, cause I know_  
_In the end it's worthwhile,_  
_That the pain that I feel slowly fades away._  
_It will be alright."_

"Bella what's the name of this song?" Edward asked.

"Pale."

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**HI PPL YOU KNOW THE DRILL**

**LOVE&PEACE=REVIEWS**

**WITH LOVE, RG94**


	4. Chapter 4: All I Need Is To Say Yes

**HI PPL SO I'M GOING TO START POSTING ONLY ON WEEKENDS AND WHEN I'M NOT FULL OF HOMEWORK TO DO. SO I WAS SICK ALL WEEKEND AND I'M NOT SO SURE ABOUT THE END OF THIS CHAPTER, EDWARDCULLEN123 SAYS IT'S GOOD BUT I HAVE MY DOUBTS. AND THANKS TO MY BETA EDWARDCULLEN123 LOL FOR LOOKING ATTHIS CHAPTER.

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CHAPTER 4

As the weeks go by, the relationship with the band is much better. And the dreams are happier, more alive. My dreams always start the same but they take another way depending of the message Kris has.

_I was in a field or rather a meadow with a beautiful black dress. Far away I could see a beautiful blossomed tree and there was somebody there. When I got to the tree what I saw made me smile, it was Kristine in a beautiful white flowing dress and a beautiful white and violet lily behind her ear._

"_Hey little sis." She said to me._

"_Hey Kris how are you?" I asked her thinking that it is about time I asked her that._

"_Things are you but your dreams are not about me baby sis, this is about you." She tells me._

"_Oh yean, and why's that?" I ask her._

"_All I need for you to do today is say yes." And with that she was gone._

I wake up. Today is the last day of recording. Photo shoots for the albums booklet will be taken tomorrow and next week the world will meet Bella Swan. I'm nervous to say the least.

After getting to know the band I found out that Rose and Em were an item and so are Ali and Jaz and James and Vicky. Yes I know they got to me and now I'm shortening their names but I like it. Anyway, I also found out that I sort of have a crush on Edward and according to Ali, he has a crush on me. All I know is that we have great chemistry and that we spend a lot of time composing together.

As I get ready for my last day at the recording studio I can't help but feel a bit melancholic to the fact that I really don't know when I'll be back, after all I'm only 22 almost 23 years old and I have a feeling I'll be back.

After my shower I went to me closet and look at my dresses. Mostly black I do have a few colorful ones. I think it's better to go black today. The little voice in my head point to one specific dress that I love but haven't worn in a while. So I decided to go with this strapless dress with pantyhose and high heel. _Just in case._

When I get to the studio everyone is already there. _Great!_ Everybody was playing and they were recording the extended guitar riffs. Thing is I needed to do extended vocals too and I really didn't know why they started without me.

"Hey Bella can you please help us with this, Alice isn't getting the note right." Vicky said.

"Sure." And we started singing and trying to help Ali get the note right; when she did we went and recorded the last song.

"Hey B what song are we recording today?" Edward asked.

"All I Need." I said.

"_I'm dying to catch my breath  
Oh why don't I ever learn  
I've lost all my trust though I've surely tried to  
Turn it around"_

"Can you still see the heart of me?  
All my agony fades away  
When you hold me in your embrace"

"Don't tear me down  
For all I need  
Make my heart a better place  
Give me something I can believe  
Don't tear me down  
You've opened the door now  
Don't let it close"

"I'm here on the edge again  
I wish I could let it go  
I know that I'm only one step away  
From turning around"

"Can you still see the heart of me?  
All my agony fades away  
When you hold me in your embrace"

"Don't tear me down  
For all I need  
Make my heart a better place  
Give me something I can believe  
Don't tear it down  
What's left of me  
Make my heart a better place"  
"I've tried many times but nothing was real  
Make it fade away  
Don't break me down  
I want to believe that this is for real  
Save me from my fear  
Don't tear me down"

"Don't tear me down  
For all I need  
Make my heart a better place"

"Don't tear me down  
For all I need  
Make my heart a better place  
Give me something I can believe  
Don't tear it down  
What's left of me  
Make my heart a better place  
Make my heart a better place."

Once we heard what we recorded, every couple went on their separate corners to make plans to celebrate the fact that they ended another album. We had decided weeks earlier that if when the final product was out of editing that we would all celebrate.

_**~FLASHBACK~**_

"_Oh come on guys, we have to celebrate that we have a new album out." Alice said after some of us refused to make a party._

"_Yeah guys, I mean, we also have to celebrate the fact that Bella is here with us too." Edward said. He's so sweet sometimes that it's starting to irritate me._

"_How about if the guys invite us girls to dinner once the album is release?" Victoria proposed. I liked that idea._

"_Oh, yes definitely that's a yes and maybe after that we could all go to Edward's house and make a little party there just us, Caius and even Angela?" Alice said. And we all agreed._

_**~END OF FLASHBACK~**_

"Um Bella, you know how every couple is going to go on their own way to celebrate tonight, well I was thinking I could invite you to dinner." Edward said as he sat next to me.

"Um I don't know Edward, I really don't think it's," and like before I remembered what Kristine told me in my dream. _"All I need for you to do today is say yes." And with that she was gone._

"You know what, I would love to." I said today as my cell phone rang. _Dad. _"Edward I need to get this, excuse me." And I got up and answered.

"Hey dad." I said.

"Hey sweetheart, how are you?" He asked.

"I'm good, I just finished recording the album and I'm going to dinner in an hour or two, how about you?" I said.

"I'm good I was just calling to cancel on our meeting sweetheart you mom has the flu so I don't think it'll be such a good idea to go to Seattle." He said. _Great! And I wanted to see them._

"Do you think that maybe I could go there?" I asked.

"Oh honey that would be great." He said as Ali waved her hands at me.

"Dad I need to go I'll call later to talk about the trip ok?" And after that we hung up.

"Hey Alice what do you need?" I ask her.

"CAN YOU PLEASEEEEEE LET ME DRESS YOU UP FOR THE DATE YOU HAVE TONIGHT WITH EDWARD, PLEEEEEEAAAAASEEEE." She screamed at me.

"Lower it a bit Ali, I'm not deaf." I said.

"Ok but can I?" She said.

"Fine." I said.

This was torture; I will never let Alice play Barbie with me AGAIN. "Come on Bella don't move I need to finish your hair and Edward is almost here." She said. There was a knock on the door. We were currently at Alice's house where she lived with Jasper.

"See, he's already here and you don't even have your dress on." She said shaking her head and opening slightly the door.

"Edward she is _not_ ready, now leave!" She said as she shut the door closed.

She then proceeded to go to the closet that was in her room while I staying in her bathroom and when she same back she was holding a big white box. She gave it to me and told me to open it, when I did there was this beautiful violet-pink strapless mid thigh dress and she was giving it to _me_.

"Oh Alice I can't take this, it's just too… much." And I started crying.

"No Bella please don't cry it's a gift from Jas and I for joining the band, please Bella accept it." She said as she hugged me. "And stop crying you'll ruin your make up." She said wiping my tears. "I want to know your story Bella, I want to know why you're so miserable, and I want to get to know and be friend because you can trust me, now go get dress, put these heels on so you can go out with Edward."

After getting dressed, Alice took my hand and took me to the living room where the whole band was. _Great!_ Everyone turned around and looked at me. Em started whistling at me as well as James, Rose and Vicky had a knowing smile on their faces, Jas was smiling sweetly at me and Edward had his mouth hanging open. _Just great!_

"Wow Bella you look… just beautiful." Edward said making my blush.

"Thank you." I said looking at my heel with great interest. He came up to where I was standing and grabbing my chin he whispered, "You really do look beautiful." And I melted and almost smiled.

"Let get away from these love stuck idiots don't you think Bella." He said to me.

"Yeah." I said as he grabbed my hand and we went to the elevator. When we got to his car I was stunt. _A Mustang, wow!_

**SO YOU KNOW THE DRILL. **

**LOVE&PEACE=REVIEWS, SO GIVE ME SOME LOVE AND I MAY POST ON TUESDAY OR EVEN MONDAY**

**WITH LOVE, RG94**


	5. Chapter 5: The Secret of My Life

**SO I'M BACK AND THIS CHAPTER IS SHORT BUT NEXT ONE YOU'LL FIND OUT A THING OUR TO ABOUT BELLA.**

**NOW IF YOUR GOOD READERS I MAY POST TOMORROW.**

**PICS AND STUFF ON PROFILE**

**I LOVE YOU EDWARDCULLEN123 FOR BEING MY BETA.**

* * *

CHAPTER 5

We came to a stop in front of a valet at an Italian restaurant called 'La Bella Vita in Italia'.

"Mmm, la bella vita in Italia, the beautiful life in Italy. I love this restaurant even though I've only been here once with my mom and dad and Kris." I stopped abruptly. _No!_

"How's Kris?" Edward asked as he guided me in the restaurant after giving the keys to the valet.

"Never mind lets go in." I said trying to change the subject but he looked at me weirdly. _Noo he must not know, no!_

"Fine." He said. _Is he angry at me?_

After getting sited, Edward started looking at me weirdly again. "Bella I really want to know who this Kris you just talked about is." He said to me looking deep into my brown eyes.

"I can't Edward I'm not ready to talk about her." I said looking at my hands.

"Oh ok it's a her; at least I know now that she isn't a he I have to worry about." He said with a wide crooked and beautiful happy smile. _I wish I could smile like that. _Sign.

"Are you ready to… oh my god your Edward Cullen lead guitarist of Silver Hearts, oh dear can I have your autograph?" The waitress said as Edward grabbed her little notebook and pen, asked her name and signed the notebook with a big smile.

"Thank you Edward, ok now what can I get you two?" She asked nicely to me.

"Yeah, I'll have the spinach and Ricotta Tortellini with Tomato Sauce and Bella what do you prefer, red or white wine?" He asked looking at me.

"Well I think red." I said still looking at the menu.

"Ok so I'll have the best red wine bottle here please, what would you like to eat Bella." He said.

"I'm not sure why don't you go get the bottle of wine and I'll tell you then I said to the waitress and then she left.

When she came she said, "We have a 1996 Latour, a 1982 Mission Haut-Brion and a Lafite-Rothschild here and we only sell by the bottle so which one would you like?" She said.

"Hum… we'll have the Latour." He said looking at me.

"And what would you like miss?" She asked me.

"I, um… I'll have the cheese and spinach raviolis." I said ordering what Kris always ordered.

"So Bella tell me about yourself." He asked me as he intertwined his finger under his chin.

"What do you want to know Edward?" I said looking at my hands.

"What you full name?"

"Isabella Marie Swan, how about you Edward?" I asked trying to change the questioning toward him.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, Mary Alice Cullen and Emmitt Carlisle Cullen are my siblings; Esme Elizabeth Mason-Cullen is my mother and Carlisle Anthony Cullen my father. There now back to you." He said with a smirk. _Darn it!_ "Bella how old are you?" he said.

"I'll be 22 soon. What about you?" I said.

"I'm 26, when's your birthday?"

"July 21st." I said. Not good today is the 16th. _Soooo not good._

"Hmm, I'm gonna make a call and ask Alice something, be right back."But before he could get up I took his hand and made him sit back down.

"You listen to me Edward, you are not going to call Alice and make her do a party for me because let's get one thing straight, I don't do parties since I was sixteen and I'll be at my parents until Wednesday so it's a mute point." And said that, I let him go and excused myself to use the restroom.

After I taken some recurrence breaths, I went back to the table where our food was already there, but Edward wasn't eating. _Odd._

"Why aren't you eating?" I asked him.

"I'm waiting for you Bella." _Aw what a gentleman._

"That's really sweet of you Edward." I said blushing.

And we started eating in complete silence but I could take that Edward actually though about calling Alice. _But Bella he doesn't even know what happened to you, you're being a complete bitch you show at least let him plan a dinner with the band. _I don't know about that. I fought with myself. _Just great!_

"Bella I'm sorry for a while ago and yes a was actually going to call Ali to set a dinner for your birthday but now I'll just leave you alone, James was right and you're not interested in me so let's just be coworkers and friends." He said as he drove toward my house. _He likes me?_

"You like me?" I asked him.

"Yeah, more than you think." He said under his breath.

"You know, I heard that." I said as he parked his car in the parking lot of my building. After getting out he accompanied me up to the apartment that I shared with Angie and we were standing at my door before I knew it.

"Um… do you want to come in?" I asked Edward as I looked at my shoes. _They're cute._

"I don't think that's a good idea Bella, thing is," he started saying my I put my finger to his mouth to stop him and then I spoke.

"Please come and hear my story Edward, I need you to know it."

* * *

**SO IF YOU RIVIEW NICELY I SWEAR I'LL POST BEFORE MONDAY WITH ISA HOLIDAY WHERE I LIVE AND WE DON'T HAVE TO GO TO SCHOOL.**

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	6. Chapter 6: Now You Know

**I'M NOT THAT EVIL SO I'M NOT GOING TO LET YOU WAIT FOR THIS CHAPTER. IT WAS A BIT HARD TO WRITE AND I CRIEDLIKE A BABY I HOPE YOU CAN FEEL WHAT I FELT WHILE WRITING IT. FOR THOSE OF YOU HOW HAVE LOST A LOVED ONE THIS WAY I'M SORRY I'VE BEEN THROUGH SOMETHING SIMILAR.**

**SO THERE ARE PICS AND SHIT ON MY PROFILE.**

**AND REMEMBER NOBODY ON HERE OWNS ANYTHING SO TWILIGHT ISN'T MINE NOR THE LYRICS THAT I'VE POSTED.**

* * *

CHAPTER 6

After making Edward sit on the couch and texting Angie asking her where she was, I headed to my room to get the photo albums and the Kleenex I had in my bathroom. As I headed to the living room Angie text back and told me that she was staying with Ben her sweet and nerdy boyfriend. _They're perfect for each other._

"Edward do you want something to drink?" I asked him as I headed to the kitchen for the glass of water I'd me needing if I was going to cry tonight.

"Um sure, do you have beer?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said grabbing my water and Edward's beer.

I had changed into my pj's and out of my dress so that if I fell asleep I would at least do it feeling comfortable.

When I entered the living room Edward is looking at the books that I left there last night there after reading a few chapter.

"Here you go." I say giving him the beer and he thanked me.

After getting my books in order, I give Edward the album and I put the Kleenex next to me.

"Is this going to explain who you are Bella and why you are always so sad?" He said with sadness in his eyes.

"Yes, open the album." And he did it. The first picture was a 5 year old Kristine holding a 3 week old Bella. I laughed because I had the weirdest hair ever.

"That's me 3 weeks old and my 5 year old sister, Kristine." I whisper and he continued to pass the pages of the album slowly and looking at every picture like he was looking for something. "You see I was this little devil next to my sister but she was the best sister ever. I really loved her… I still do." I said looking far away into memories.

"She always told me everything and when I say everything its everything. She told me she had had sex for the first time after doing it. I was 14 at the time it was just gross but she told me everything. And we were inseparable." I had started crying by now.

"February 7th, 2004 we went to an exclusive concert that was invite only and her boyfriend at the time Jacob who happens to be my best friend had 3 invitations to go and he gave then to us but he never made it, he was too busy with college; so we both made excuses to mom and dad to go, I told them I was having a sleep over with Angela and Kris told them she was going to La Push where Jake lives and we went together. Best concert ever, it was good and I got to meet my idol Sharon den Adel, she's a mezzo-soprano like me. So during the concert Kris had a few drinks and so she was a bit tipsy but she could still drive. It was really late and there was a storm falling so I started to worry but she didn't listen and she started driving really fast. I told her to lower the speed but she didn't and suddenly she lost control of the car and we crashed. A month later on her birthday, March 23, I woke up in a hospital bed. Mom and Dad were there but Kris wasn't. The doctors told me that it was a miracle that I was alive because during the crash, I broke my scull and they had to do very intensive surgery to repair the damage, I also had multiple mayor fractures in my legs, my spine was so badly harmed that it would be a miracle if I could walk again. And having said that, I couldn't even imagine in what share Kris was when she passed away. Even when they told me she died from the impact but I couldn't believe she was dead. The worst part of it was seeing Jake because I was actually helping him with everything so that he could propose to Kris on her birthday. He came that day and we both cried so hard that the doctors had to sedate me." I couldn't speak anymore because I was crying so hard; I couldn't even breathe.

"Bella please you don't have to tell me all this," he started saying but I interrupted. "Yes I do Edward because I need to go forward and I can't keep this pain in me no more, I just can't." I said grabbing a Kleenex and blowing my nose.

"Ok, but Bella please don't cry anymore it pains me to see you like this." He said grabbing me and hugging me hard and safely.

"I love Jake and I love Kris but when they first started dating I was jealous because I used to have a crush on him. But then I saw how they looked at each other and I knew that they were in love. It was so sweet but then I's the one that killed their love. Even when I know that it wasn't my fault that she died I feel guilty because I could have done something." I said crying on his shoulder as he rubbed my head.

"After her death I couldn't look at Jake to his face, it was just too painful and after graduating from school I asked Angela if she wanted to live with me in Seattle and go to school together. And that's how I ended up here." I said looking at him. He's so beautiful and sweet. _Sign. _But I think that if he knows that my sister comes and talks to me in my dreams he will think I'm crazy and run away from me.

"Bella can I ask you something?" He said with a troubled looking on his face.

"Yeah." I said as I blow my nose and cleaned my face again.

"You look so happy in these pictures of you singing and dancing and Angela told me that you singing at the audition was so rare because you haven't sung since you were 16. All I could think about was why do you look so happy here," he said pointing at the picture of me singing when I was 14. "And so sad now when you sing?"

"Because Kris always encouraged me to sing because she loved to hear me do it and she always had my back." I said. I hadn't noticed until now that it had started raining and really hard and I started getting really scared.

"Bella are you ok?" He asks me.

"It's raining, every time it rains this hard I remember everything I lived that night and it's very painful." I said closing my eyes and snuggling into Edward's chest.

"It's ok Bella your safe with me." He said hugging me hard.

_I was in a field or rather a meadow with a beautiful black dress. Far away I could see a beautiful blossomed tree and there was somebody there. When I got to the tree what I saw made me smile, it was Kristine in a beautiful white flowing dress and a beautiful white and violet lily behind her ear._

"_Hey little sis." She said to me._

"_Kris…" I say to her as I run up to her and hug her hard._

"_Sis I love you and you should know that it was not your fault I am no longer in the world of the living." She said as she grabbed my hands._

"_I know Kris but I feel guilty because I could have made you sit in the passenger seat while I drive." I said._

"_Bella you must understand that it was my time to go," she started saying but I interrupted her._

"_Did you know that Jake was going to propose?" I said as I saw her face fall with sadness._

"_Yes I did but it was too late for me and I was not his soul mate sis, she will come along and you will be jealous of her. And sis do not mess it up with Edward he is a great man and he is here to stay." And she disappeared._

It's morning time now and I'm really warm. I fell asleep with Edward on the couch and he smells so good like some sort of spice and sweetness and something good that I can't put my finger on. I buried my face in his chest and inhaled.

"Are you smelling me?" He said with an amused tone.

"And what if I am?" I said looking up to see his beautiful green emerald color eyes.

"How do I smell?" He asked.

"Great." I said with a blush.

"Come on get up I'll make breakfast." He said with a chuckle as he pulled me with him to go to the kitchen.

We ended up making breakfast together and it felt oddly familiar, like it was meant to be that way. After what I told him last night I thought he would treat me differently but he doesn't and I love it and it makes me happy in a odd way to know that he accepts me the way I am.

"Bella, you there." He says to me as he waves my cell phone to my face. It was ringing. _Shit. _I grab it and answer it without looking at who it is.

"Hello." I said.

"Bella, sweetheart where are you?" It's my dad.

"Oh, um… dad I'm still home I'm sorry I totally forgot I was coming up today, let me just pack and I'll get on the road." I tell him.

"Oh, ok I was getting worried because you hadn't called yet and you normally do." He said.

"I know dad I'm sorry… um dad would you mind if I come with a friend?" I ask him looking at Edward.

"Guy or girl." He said. _Over protective fool my father._

"He's name is Edward dad and I have to go bye, love you." I said as I hung up.

"Would you like to come with?" I ask him.

"To meet your parents? Ok, sure I'd love to." He said with a beautiful crooked smile.

After that Edward said that he was going to go home to pack a few things and to shower. So after he left, I went to my room and started packing what I needed. After my shower I put on a beautiful red, dark blue and white dress with a white jacket and light makeup.

When Edward came back with his stuff, I looked at the way he was dressed for the first and I liked what I saw. He looked good with jeans, Nike shoes and a button down light blue shirt and a black wife beater underneath. He looked good.

"I'm driving Edward so you can park the car in my garage spot in this building." I said to him as we made our way to my car a beautiful black 2011 Volvo C70.

Once he put his car in the parking garage, and we were in my car and that I had started driving did Edward ask me where we were going and of course I told him Forks.

After driving for 3 hours we finally made it to my mom and dad's home and funny thing, it's sunny today. As I get out of the car my mom comes running from the house and crashes into me until we're on the floor and she's laughing while I'm groaning.

"Mom get off." I say to her and as she helps me get off the wet ground.

"Bella sweetie, it's been too long." She says hugging me.

"I know mom but it's only been 2 months." I say to her but before I know it she's next to Edward.

"Well hello, I'm Renee and you are?" She asks him.

"Hello I'm Edward Cullen a friend of Bella it's nice to meet you." He said shaking her hand.

"Bells how are you?" My dad says to me.

"Daddy I've been good, how have you been?" I ask him.

"Good Bells, good." He says as he finally hugs me and whispering to my ear that he has missed me and that he loves me.

As we made our way into the house my mother started interrogating Edward with question about himself. For what I had heard, his family had a house on the outsides of Forks. After that I went to my room and unpacked my bag and put the cloths in the dresser, then I heading to the guest room which used to be Kris' room and I found Edward looking at a picture I thought was lost. The photo was a really old picture of my mom pregnant with me and Kris was hugging the huge belly of my mom's.

"Where did you find that?" I asked as I grabbed the picture from his hands.

"I was going to take a nap and I was adjusting the pillow when that picture fell out of it." He said.

"Thank you, I haven't seen this picture in so long." I said with a single tear rolling down my face.

"Bella please don't cry." Edward said with angst in his voice and he came and hugged me.

"I'll try. You know what we should do; we should go and have a tour of the town so you can get to know it better." I said grabbing his hand but I stopped short when I felt a very nice electric current that made my body tingle and that gave me butterflies in my belly.

"Did you feel that?" Edward asked.

"Yes." I whispered.

"That felt really nice." He said getting closer to me and looking into my eyes. They were amazing and beautiful and they looking into then it were like I'm looking directly into his soul and what I could see of it I love.

Do I love him? No but I sure am falling for him and hard. Would he love me back? I don't think so; I'm way too damaged for him. Why does he look at me like this, like I'm perfect?

"Because you are perfect Bella." He said grabbing my face as if he were going to kiss my lips because he looks at them before letting me go and kissing my cheek leaving a warm and tingling feeling on me.

"Come on Bella, show me your hometown." He says pulling me to the door but then I remember I left my cell phone in my room.

"I'll be right back I need to get my cell before we leave." I said running up the stairs ad in my room and getting my phone.

As I go down the stairs I can see Edward is looking at more pictures. He looks just gorgeous and perfect with his sex hair. I go up to him and blow a raspberry to his neck and he laughs.

"That's not nice B and you know it, especially since I'm the guest." He says.

"Your right but I'm not sorry you face was priceless." And funny thing is he stares at me so intensely that I almost in his beautiful green eyes. He started leaning into me as if going to kiss me but just before he does the bell rings and I have to yell that I would get it.

As I opened the door I tried to figure out who it may be but when I see him my heart fills with sadness.

"Hey Jake." I said as I hugged him.

* * *

**SO AGAIN DOBLE THANKS TO MY BETA EDWAURDCULLEN123 SHE EDITED THIS CHAPTER AFTER I POST IT I'M SORRY.**

**SO YEAH A BIT OF A CLIFFY BUT IT'S ALL IN GOOD NATURE.**

**I'M NOT ONE TO BEG BUT _PLEASEEEEEEEE PLEASEEEEE LEAVE SOME REWVIEW PLEASEEEEEE FOR KRISTINE OR FOR JAKE IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE FOR ME._**

**I'M IN A GOOD MOOD SO ANY CRITIZISM WON'T BE RESPONSED WITH "FUCK YOU" SO REVIEW.**

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**WITH LOVE, GR94**


	7. CH7: Just Another Day, Just Another Kiss

**SO PPL THIS IS A BIT EARLY SINCE IT'S FRIDAY AND SINCE I'LL BE ONLY POSTING WEEKENDS SO YEAH. HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER I'M NOT SURE WHEN I'LL UPDATE SINCE NEXT WEEK I HAVE FINAL EXAMS AT SCHOOL BUT MAYBE SOME REVIEWS MIGHT CHANGE MY MIND.**

**HOPE YOU LIKE IT AND I'LL BE POSTING THE PLAYLIST ON MY PROFILE ALONG WITH THE PICS**

* * *

CHAPTER 7

**B.P.O.V.  
**  
"Hey Jake." I said as I hugged him.

"Bells it's so good to see you again, it's been too long." He said still hugging me.

"I know Jake and I'm so sorry but I've been working and I finally recorded an album… I'm even in a band. Sorry, by the way this is Edward a friend and fellow artist I'm working with, Edward this is Jake they guy I told you about." I said looking at Edward and I saw he had a strange look. _Hmm._

"Hey." Jake said with a shrug of his shoulder.

"Hello." Edward said.

So we all went to the living room and I started talking with Jake about everything that had been going on in my life and also his too. He told me that he had met a girl called Gianna and that even though they had just had a big fight, he thinks he loves her.

After an hour or two of talking I saw that Edward was nowhere to be found so I told Jake that he had to come down to Seattle to catch up and that it was really nice seeing him again. After that he left and I went upstairs to the guest room where I found Edward sleeping soundly and with a small smile on his face. Aw! He looks so adorable.

So to not wake him up I closed his door and went down stairs where Charlie, my Dad was kissing my Mom, Renee good bye since he was heading to the station to work a night shift as the "Sheriff" of our town. _I can't believe that I actually fell for that Sheriff BS when I was little. L.O.L!_

"Bells come here a sec." My dad said.

"Sure, what's up dad?" I asked.

"I like that boy, he seems a really good person and he is very nice. Bells don't mess it up with him ok." He said. _Funny how he connects with Kristine so much since she told me the same thing_.

"I'll try dad, you know I'm not perfect." I said hugging him.

"I know Bells but try hard and I have to go to work, we'll talk later." After the usual good bye kiss he left.

After going up to my room and grabbing one of my favorite books 'Interview With The Vampire' by Anne Rice, I went back down and sat on the couch on the living room while my mom did something in the  
kitchen.

It was currently 6:30 p.m. when Renee told me to get Edward so we could have dinner together so I climbed the stairs and went into Edward's room to wake him up.

"Edward, hey wake up." I said softly to his ear and he started to stir. "Come on Edward wake up."

"Oh, um… yeah 5 more minutes." He said as he grabbed the pillow and put it over his head. I had to giggle at that. _Wait, WHAT? I'M HAPPY AND GIGGLING. WTF?_

"Did you just giggle?" He asked me. _Shit noo!_

"No and dinner's ready, Renee said to come get you so we could eat together." I said grabbing his hand and leading him to the table where the food was already there.

"Well Edward did you have a nice nap?" My mom asked.

"Yes ma'am I did." He said being a complete gentleman.

After thanking my mom for a delicious dinner, Edward and I went to the living room to watch one of the many movies I've collected in the passing of the years.

"So Edward what movie would you like to watch?" I asked him.

"I really don't know B, why don't you choose?" He said.

"Like hell I'm choosing, go over there and choose one." I said pushing him toward the DVD library we had. He looked for an hour before he chose the lord of the ring trilogy one of my favorites.

"Bella would you mind if we watch The Lord of the Ring?" He asked. "Thing is I haven't seen them all complete but I've read the books so I wanted to compare them." He said blushing. _Say what? Aw he's blushing._

"I love The Lord of the Rings trilogy and I've also read the books." I said grabbing the first movie and putting in the DVD player.

Around 10 pm Renee called the night and went to bed. Once the first movie was done, I told Edward that I was going to go put on my pj's which were actually really cute since they were Hello Kitty's pj's but still they were black. Once I had my pj's I started going out of my room and as I made my way toward the living room again I heard a loud banging on the door.

"Open this fucking door Bella, open up you fucking killer!" Jacob yelled. _Fuck, he's drunk just what I need._

"Bella where are you?" Edward said looking for me. All I could do was sit on the stair way and cry. _Asshole, how could he._

"Oh Bella sweetie don't cry please don't cry, you're not a killer!" He said and he was furious.

"Open this fucking door. You fucking killed the love of my life, you show of died instead of her." He yelled and with that Edward was out the front door and into Jacob and started hitting him.

"You fucking apologies to her because she's not a killer." He said yelling at him.

And then Edward was on his back and Jacob was hitting him and telling him that he didn't know anything. And all I did was stand at the door way, crying and dining nothing.

When I finally came to my senses I ran up starts to my parent's room and I woke my mom up and told her to call dad, then I went back down stairs to find them still on the ground and Jacob still on top of Edward but he was hitting him back.

"Jacob get the fuck off of Edward, get off!" I screamed at Jake while hitting him.

Then as if god heard my prayers Charlie came in the cruise and was out of the car before I knew it.

"Jacob get off of him now or I'll have to arrest you." Charlie said.

"Fuck you Charlie he was Fu-" when he said that Charlie had him pinned to the floor and putting the handcuffs on Jacob's hands.

"Jacob Black your under arrest for insulting an officer and for assault." and he proceeded to tell him his right while he struggled.

As he did that I went to Edward who was lying on the wet ground bleeding.

"Oh my god Edward are you ok?" I said still having tears rolling down my face.

"I don't know, please help me up." He said as my mom who had been standing next to me help me bring Edward back to his feet.

When we had him settled on his bed, mom went to the kitchen to get an ice pack from the freezer. When she came back, I had started filling the tube so that Edward could clean all the blood of.

I still couldn't believe that Jacob had done what he did tonight, I just can't believe it.

"Mom thanks for your help but I think you should go to sleep since you have to work tomorrow." I told Renee so that I could that to Edward alone.

"Ok honey if you need any help wake me up." She said.

While I waited for the tub to fill up, I went to Edward to clean his wounds before his bath. _Thank god there's a first aid kit in every room._

"Edward I'm so sorry for what you just had to witness." I said as I sat on the bed.

"Bella it's not your fault you know, Jacob was the one that decided to get drunk B." He said rubbing his jaw. "Though he does have an amazing right hook when he's drunk." He said with a chuckle.

"It's not funny." I said as I grabbed the alcohol and a bit of cotton to start wiping his jaw, his split lip and eyebrow, his bloody cheekbone. _Fucking Jacob for almost killing my Edward. Mine? _

"God Damn it!" he yelled.

"Fuck I'm soooo sorry Edward." I said with angst written all over my face, so I started blowing on his wounds to calm the sting.

"You know what would make it better, giving it a kiss, that's what my mom used to do when I got hurt as a kid and she said that there is nothing like a loving kiss to calm the pain." He said with a sweet smile on his face. _OMG, does he want me to kiss him and should I?_

As I kept cleaning with wound cleaners I actually considered kissing him. I bit my lip subconsciously. "Stop biting your lip B, it's way too cute for you to have a bruise like mine." He said as he grabbed my lower lip between his thumb and index. _Fuck, I need to kiss him._

So I lean forward a bit, guarding Edward's reaction and when all he could do was look at my lips, I starting by giving him a simple kiss on his split eyebrow and he moaned softly while closing his eyes.

Slowly, very slowly I kissed down his scratched temple toward his cheek and very lightly I kissed ever visible bruise and scratch and also just his cheek it's self; I also very subtly kissed his eyelids until I was back on his bruised cheek.

After kissing his cheek once more, gradually I started going down his face until I had my very warm lips on his really firm jaw. I kissed it lightly and I even nibbled on it a bit. And even all hurt he looked rather… _beautiful. _

I finally had the courage to go and kiss his lips. Even though this kiss was simple and chaste kiss, it was the most exquisite one I've ever had. It was sweet and soft but it had an electric current that made butterflies suddenly flock in my belly like crazy. After that sort but great kiss, I pulled back and went to the bathroom to check on the water which was just perfect.

"Edward the bath is ready." I tell him as he gets up for the bed and goes in the bathroom. Neither of us mentioned they kisses nor did he even approach me for kissing him, so I just left the room and went to mind where I had all my books and choosing whichever got into my view first and started "reading". _Hilarious how I can read for hour and not recognize or acknowledge anything and once Edward kisses my or well, the other way around, how I can't even speak correctly. Ugh!_

I hadn't noticed that it had been 30 minutes since I had left Edward's room until he himself knocked on my door and asking if he could come in to which I said yes.

"Yeah, um… I'm still sorry for what happened and everything." I said looking at my hands that were currently on my lap.

After what felt like years, Edward came and sat on the side of my bed while looking at me and not at anything else.

What I didn't expect him to do was grabbed my hands and kiss it softly. "Bella thank you." He simply said.

"For what?" I asked.

"For making the hurt of these wounds disappear. And for making me feel less like a fearful man, and more into a brave one." He said looking so sincere that I believe him.

And with that he grabbed my cheeks softly between his big but surprisingly soft hands and kissed me softly. _God I need more._

As if he could read my mind, with the tip of his tongue he licked my upper lip so I could let him in and me wanting more, all I could do was open up and feel the delicious taste of his tongue in my mouth.

We had been kissing for so long that I was breathless but I didn't want to break the kiss up. Sensing that I was out of breath Edward slowly and reluctantly removed his lips from mine but put his forehead against mine while we caught our breaths.

"Wow… that was" he started saying.

"Incredible." I said with a small smile on my face. A really smile.

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**SO YOU KNOW THE DRILL LOVE&PEACE=REVIEWS SO LEAVE SOME LOVE PLEASE**

**WITH LOVE, RG94**


	8. Chapter 8: The Heart of Everything

**HI EVERYONE SORRY I TOOK SO LONG BUT LIKE I TOLD YOU LAST CHAPTER TEST WERE GOING ON IN SCHOOL AND TO TOP IT ALL IWAS REALLY SICK THESE LAST 2 WEEK. I HOPE YOU LIKE THE END OF THIS CHAPTER AND SINCE I'M SO GOODI TELLYOU SOMETHING ABOUT NEXT CHAPTER.**

**SO EDWARD AND BELLA WILL BE GOING ON MORE DATE AND IN ONEOF THEM, THEY ARE GOING TO GO SEE RESIDENT EVIL: THE AFTERLIFE. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T LIKE THE SERIE I'M SORRY BUT I DO. ANYWAYS, THE END OF THE CHAPTER WILL SURPISE YOU. OH AND I'M NOT SURE WHEN I'LL POST AGAIN SINCE NEXT WEEKEND WILL BE EXTREMELY BUSY WITH A FAIR GOING ON WITH SCHOOL AND I HAVE TO SING AND SHIT AND I DO HAVE TO WATCH THE MOVIE SO THAT'LL TAKE SOME TIME BUT I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CHAPTER.**

**REVIEWS PLEASE IF YOU WANT FOR NEXT CHAPTER TO BE SOON.**

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CHAPER 8

So it's been a week since I kissed Edward and to be completely honest with myself I really liked it. I was currently driving to a special location where we were going to be shooting the cover of the album named "The Heart of Everything". Thing with this location is that somebody had leaked that I was the new lead singer and everyone wanted a glimpse of me. _Just perfect._

When I arrived at the building I could see Edward's mustang already park. _Dear lord please help me._ So after parking next to his car, I went to the third floor where we would be shooting.

As I entered the studio I could hear Edward's laughter mixed with a woman's giggle. _WTF! _What I saw was Edward bent over laughing next to a beautiful girl who was pointing at him while giggling.

"Dude, Eddie you are soooo busted." The woman said.

"I know man; the funny thing is that you fucking suck for calling me a whipped pussy and not making it sound dirty." Edward said laughing. _What the heck are they talking about?_

I finally get the nerve to let myself be seen and immediately Edward sees me and has a huge smile on his face. "Hey Bella." He says jogging up toward where I was.

"Hello Edward." I said with a monotonous tone while making him frown.

"Is everything ok?" He whispers to me.

"I'm perfect." I said walking toward the woman that was now on her Mac.

"Hi I'm Bella and you are?" I ask her while extending my hand toward hers.

"Kate." She said with an amused tone while grabbing my hand and shaking it.

"I see… and you do?" I asked with honest curiosity.

"Ha, ha! Eddie I like her. Sweetie I'll be taking you pictures for the album cover… and if it makes you feel any better, I'm a lesbian." She said with a smirk.

"Oh." I said while looking at Edward and he was grinning like crazy.

So after a long silence, Kate finally told me that today we were going to do a couple of shots and that today it was and I quote "Eddie" and mine's day to shoot, since we were the only ones that hadn't had our picture taken.

So while somebody made me beautiful with tons of makeup and someone else tried to rip my hair off my head, Edward was talking with Kate in whispers. Once I was done with all the makeup and hairdresser and getting myself into a white dress (it was beautiful but totally not what I normally wear), Kate grabbed my hand and directed me toward a set where a beautiful medieval styled chair was resting. She told me to sit comfortably and to look at Edward, who was in the back right corner. After a few pictures posing like this, Kate told and explained another pose for me to do and she told me again to look directly at Edward and I did but this time he looked into my eyes so deeply that in a way I felt… _happy, _with hope that everything was going to be alright.

After a few more shots, Kate told Edward to get ready for his turn and then she told me to go relax and that I could get dressed again. After what felt like hours Edward finally changed into his everyday outfit and he walked up toward me.

"Hey Bella can I ask you something?" He said.

"Um, sure." I told him.

"So the band asked me if I could ask you if you'd like to start touring soon to promote the album before it's released or if you wanted to do that after." He said.

"Oh, um… I don't know whatever you prefer. I really don't care." I said as I grabbed all my things and started walking with Edward toward the exit.

"Look Bella, I really like you and the band as well especially Alice," he started saying with a chuckle. "So since you're new we want you to feel comfortable so whatever you want. Besides, the tour will be mostly in Europe since our biggest fans are there."

"Right… Europe. Um, how about we all have a meeting and talk about it, I mean I've never been to Europe and I have a feeling that it will be a bit overwhelming at most." I said while looking for the keys to my car.

"Ok Bella I'll call everyone and asked them to get ready." He said as he went to get his phone out of his pocket.

"Edward I didn't mean now, I meant maybe later tonight or tomorrow or the day after, I don't know but not right now, I can't go to a meeting right now." I said finally finding my keys. "Look I really need to go maybe you should call me and we'll talk about the meeting or… stuff." I said looking at my black converse.

"Yeah what's your number?" After trading number I got in my car and drove home. When I got home I turned the TV on and flipped through the channels until I found a movie to watch.

I was so into the movie that I didn't when the door opened and closed until Angela was blocking my view of the TV.

"Hey! Move let me see." I said to Angie since now I couldn't see.

"Where the fucks were you? I've been calling your cell phone all afternoon after Edward called me for the same reason." She said with a stern look on her face and her hands on her hips while tapping her foot with the floor.

"What are you talking about, I've been here all afternoon." I said while I got up to get my bag where my phone was. When I checked sure enough I had 8 missed calls from Edward and 15 from Angela, 5 voice mails and 22 text messages.

"Oh shit! I am so sorry Angie I got caught up with the movie and you know how I am when I'm watching movies, I get so into it that the world could end and I wouldn't even know." I said to Angie.

"Ok, fine but call Edward he's really worried." She said going toward her room.

I dialed his number and he picked up on the first ring. "Bella are you ok?" He said with a frantic tone.

"I'm ok Edward sorry for not picking up, thing is I got caught up with this movie and I sort of get way into the movie. I don't even know what's going around me until it's over or someone blocks my view. I'm really sorry." I said to him.

"Oh, ok I just thought something had happened to you." He said. "Hey look, so everyone is coming to my house to hang out for a while and I was wondering if you'd like to come?" He asked.

"Oh, um sure I guess, what's your address?" After chatting for a little bit I went to my room to get ready to lounge out all night.

I had on me a black tank top, faded jeans, an arm grove and black converse. After driving for about 15 minutes I came upon a beautiful big white gated house. There was an intercom and I let my presence known so that I could be let in. After someone opened the gate, I drove in and parked next to Edward's car. Once I was out of the car, I walked to the front porch and toward the door and rang the bell; I was surprised to say the least when Alice opened the door and hugged me.

"Bella it's so good to see you again!" She said.

After she let me in, she guided through the house toward the basement where I found that it was turned into a game room with a pool table, air hockey, some weird old videogames and more stuff. "Wow." Was the only thing I could say.

After settling on the couch, Alice called everyone so we could talk business and when I saw Edward I almost melted. _He looks fucking hot with just jeans, Mmm. _

After talking for what felt like hours, we finally decided that we wanted to start the tour just before realizing the cd to the public. Once everyone had left, I was left in Edward's house with only him.

"Bella would you like a tour of my house?" Edward asked. _Oh god, please help me please._

"Um, sure why not." I said as he grabbed my hand and led me up stairs to the main room. As we exited the basement and we went into the dining room Edward showed me pictures of his childhood with Alice that were all over the walls of one of the corridors.

After showing me the dining room, the HUGE kitchen, another living room, an office that had a balcony that led to the outside pool which was beautiful and big, some guest rooms from when the band wanted or had to sleep at his house and we were currently waking toward what Edward said what one of his favorite. When we got there, he opened the door and what I saw left me speechless and stunted into silence and as he looked at me, he laughed at me. _OMG he's laughing at me._ What I saw was a HUGE, bigger than the kitchen huge, library that had floor to ceiling shells fool with books and in the middle of the library there was this beautiful baby grand piano.

"Oh my god Edward, can I go play?" I whispered and turned my head to look at him directly into his beautiful green eyes. And with that I was lost… lost until he nodded and I went running toward the piano. I opened the lid and went to the bench and I started taping the keys and hear if they were accordingly tuned and they were, so I started playing one of my favorite songs 'Nocturne' in C –sharp minor by Chopin. _Sigh, I love this song._

As I prolonged the last cord, I felt as Edward grabbed my hand to make me stand and when I was face to face with him I looked into his eyes once again and I saw that they were darker and filled with… lust. And so he kissed me with so much strength and passion that I was left breathless and made into jell-o.


	9. Chapter 9: You're Sunshine and I'm Happy

**SORRY I TOOK SO LONG BUT TO COMPENSATE THAT THIS CHAPTER IS EXTRA LONG. OK SO I WANT TO THANK EDWARDCULLEN123 MY LOVELY BETA FOR HELPING ME OUT IN THIS CHAPTER THING IS SHE DID ONE OF THE DATES.**

**THIS CHAPTER IS FINALLY EDITED AND ALL THANKS TO MY BETA EDWARDCULLEN123.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

It was currently 1:34 pm and I was getting ready for another date with Edward. For the past few months we've been coming and going and hanging a lot together, and we've gone to several dates and even though we are not a couple I sort of want to be. Currently I was getting myself into a beautiful beige sleeveless dress with black stripes, that came mid thigh which I thought would look really good with black tights and ballet flops that were also beige. I had decided that I would wear my hair down with a beautiful diadem that had a flower and some feathers that went perfectly with my outfit and once I was done, I looked in the mirror and saw that I looked beautiful.

"Wow." Angie said as she came into my room holding a medium size box that had a ribbon on top of it.

"Angie please tell me that that box isn't for me." I said blushing.

"Course it is Bells and I want you to wear it for this date, I just know you will look just lovely." She said with a sweet smile that made me say 'yes' to her instantly. She gave me the box and when I opened it I saw that it was a beautiful necklace that formed flowers with its gems.

"Wow Angie it's beautiful, thank you." I said. As I got the necklace on I remembered getting ready for my second date with Edward almost 2 months ago.

**~START OF FLASHBACK~**

"Bella come on out and let me see you, _please." _Angie said while pounding at my locked door; funny this was, I had locked myself up just because I'm so insecure of myself that now I really didn't want to go out with Edward. I honestly didn't have anything to wear and since Edward didn't really elaborate where we were going I really didn't know if it was casual or elegant or outdoorsy. _Shit! I'm going crazy._

"Bella if you don't open that door I'm calling Edward." Angie said sternly while still pounding on the door.

"GO HEADED ANGIE I DON'T CARE ANYWAYS, I'M NOT GOING OUT." I screamed as I through myself on my bed. Thirty minutes later there was a soft knock on my door.

"Bella will you let me in, please." Edward said. _Shit she wasn't kidding._

"Fine." I said with my face on my pillow before getting up, unlocking the door and throwing myself onto my bed. As he opened the door I remembered that I was still in my towel from my shower. _Double shit and fuck. _Before I could yell at Edward to get out he was at my side.

"Bella get dressed casually because we're going to the movies and we're having dinner." And once he said that he left my room. _Great. _

So now I'm in my closet looking for something casual. _Fuck, I need to call Alice. _I thought grimacing. After calling Alice and having her look at photos of all my clothes she sent me my outfit for tonight. She had chosen a long-sleeved white shirt, a black skirt with a thin red belt, black pantyhose and a pair of ballet flops. _I look really good. _She also said to put on the red sideways hat. After putting light makeup I finally came out of my room.

"Wow you look really beautiful Bella." Edward said and I blushed while saying thanks.

After we got it his car, he drove toward a cinema not far from my place. Currently they were presenting Resident Evil 4: The After Life and I had to see it. _Let's just say I'm a little nerdy when it comes to movies. _

"So Bella what do you want to see?" He said and I immediately said Resident Evil.

"Really? You like the series?" He asked surprised.

"Of course I do, I even have the video games." I said blushing. _Why the fuck did I just tell him that?_

"Cool." He said smiling. After buying the tickets, Edward bought popcorn and sodas for the both of us. As we were entering the theatre this kid came up to us and asked for an autograph from both of us. _OMG he knows who I am. _After giving the autograph we took our seats as the credits rolled. During the whole movie Edward had this… constipated look on his face it was… funny. Once the movie was over, Edward as quickly as he could got out of his seat, grabbed my hand and let me out of the theatre. As we made our way toward the car I couldn't hold the laughter that was bubbling in me.

"What are you laughing about?" Edward asked.

"Nothing." I said still giggling. He stopped walking and while still holding my hand he stopped me as well.

"Bella I love it when you laugh and I love it even more if I'm the one that makes you laugh, so please tell me what you are laughing about." He said while looking deep into my brown eyes with his beautiful green ones.

"I'm laughing because you face was priceless during the whole movie Edward and also because you dragged me out of the theater like bat out of hell." I said with a giggle.

"Well I'm happy that you are enjoying yourself with my small aversion toward the movie." He said as he faked irritation toward me.

"Ok, so what do you want to eat?" He asked with a sweet smile on his face.

"I don't know, I'm kinda in the mood for Mexican food, is that ok with you?" I said with a small blush on my face.

"Mexican it is." He said as he started walking again.

Once we were seated at this cute little Mexican place called "La Mexicana", this beautiful Latin looking girl came up to use and grave us the menus.

"Good evening and welcome to 'La Mexicana' I'm Laura and I'll be your server for tonight, what would you like to drink sir, ma'am?" She said with a slight Latin accent in her speech.

"Thank you Laura, to drink I would like scotch on the rocks if that's ok, what would you like B?" He asked while I looked at the vast list of drinks in the menu.

"Oh um… is the 'Alabama Slammer' good?" I asked Laura.

"It's really good, personally it's one of my favorites." She said with a giggle.

"Ok then, I'll have one of those then." I said with a small smile.

Once she left we both went to check out the whole menu and see what we were going to be eating while our drinks were served. As I looked at the menu, Edward asked me if I wanted nachos as entree and I said yes; as I went back to the menu my eyes fell upon the letters that formed one of my favorite food chooses, the chimichanga. _Fuck, I LOVE chimichanga. _

Once Laura was back with our drinks, Edward told her our orders and she went for the nachos as she left our orders to me cooked.

"So Bella why exactly did you order the hot chimichanga?" He asked.

"Honestly I love spice food and since I was a kid I've always like the chimichanga it's just sooooooo good against my taste bud. Yummy!" I said and he chuckled.

Once our food had arrived and we had started eating did Edward and I start talking. We talked about our childhood and he told me that Alice being the pixie she is and even if she looked small and vulnerable she was this 'terminator' (his words not mine) of a person and that if she said she wanted or needed something, she had it no matter what. I told him a little more about Kris and how she was like a guardian angel when I was in school and this group of girl bullied me. _Sigh, great times. _I didn't even notice when we had finished our food and our plates were taken away until Edward asked for the bill.

Once paid and as we headed toward the car Angie sent a text.

**_~B I'm staying at Ben's I heart u bitch~_**

Once in the car we headed toward my place. Once there I asked Edward if he would like to hang out for a little while and he said yes, so we made our way to the elevator and up to my apartment. We sat on the couch Edward with a beer and me with a Smirnoff. And with the passing of hours the alcohol went passing by slowly as well.

"How many long term relationships have you had?" I asked Edward.

"To tell you the truth just one, unless you count the on and off times with Tanya but it was really just like fuck buddy, sorry for being so rough by that term." He said while grimacing.

"It's ok I'm quit the podgy mouth myself." I said blushing. "Tell me about that one long term girlfriend of yours."

"Well her name was Amber and she was my high school sweetheart to tell you the truth. And she was almost my first everything, my first girlfriend, my first fuck, first crush, first really date and she was the first girl to meet my parent as my girlfriend. I actually thought I loved her, that was until I found her fucking my at the time and so called best friend Brett just after graduation. It really hurt so to escape that pain, I fuck around in collage while submerging into majoring in music and with a minor in literature I ended up where I am now. Enough about me what about you, have you had any long term relationships B?" He asked.

"Honestly I'm still a virgin, sure I've had guys around me and shit but no long term boyfriends to worry about, you know?" I said with a slight frown. _WHY THE FUCK DID I TELL HIM I WAS STILL VIRGIN? ISABELLA ARE YOU STUPID?_ Well I guess I am.

"Your still virgin?" He asked with a look that was, sort of… adoring and sweet, as if that was the best thing ever. _WTF?_

"Yes." I said blushing and looking at my hand that were resting against my lap. He grabbed my chin with his long thumb and index making me look up to his beautiful green eyes.

"That's the best thing you could have told me Bella." He said with a small smile on his face.

"Why?" I whispered.

"Because I don't want to rush anything and I want to get to know you much better because honestly even if I don't really know what's going on between us I want something to happen and sex really just complicates things… not that I don't think about have sex with you but," he started rambling and to shut him up I kissed him. _Where was this boldness coming from?_

When we surfaced for air Edward rested his forehead against mine and said, "Wow." While I giggled shyly.

**~END OF FLASHBACK~**

As I remembered, there was a knock on the door and I got up to get it. It was Edward; he was dressed rather nice with dark pants, a white bottomed shirt, a baby blue vest and a jacket. _Shit he looks soooo hot._

"Wow you look… beautiful." He said as he looked me from head to toe.

"Thanks." I said shyly while blushing crimson. "So Edward where are we going?" I asked.

"I'm not telling you it's a surprise." He said with a smirk as he grabbed my hand, said bye to Angie and guiding me toward the elevator.

As he led me toward his new beautiful red Vanquish he had bought one day out of an urge.

**~START OF FLASHBACK~**

I was currently wearing an outfit that Alice had chosen for me since I was going out with Edward for lunch; it was a Uniqlo plaid black and white shirt, J Brand black jeans, urban black corset belt and black Chloe boots. _Wow, these shoes are sooooooo comfortable, weird. _

Even though I was tortured my Fanshionzilla for almost 4 hours, I had to give it to Alice that she could make me look just perfect. At exactly 11:45 a.m. Edward showed up at my door step. He was looking hot (as always) in a light grey long-sleeved shirt with a dark jacket and black jeans with sneakers. We were know seated in Edward's mustang heading toward his house since he said that he wanted to make me lunch. When we got there I was once again stunned into silence with the size of his house.

"So Bella I hope you don't mind that I ordered pizza instead of making lunch but I had a little problem this morning." He said with a little tint of a blush.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well… let's just say that I may cook great but when I'm nervous I tend to like fire." He said with embarrassment written all over his face.

"Oh my god Edward, there was fire involved?" I said astonished.

"Maybe." He said shyly as I started laughing.

"Yeah happy your amused with my expense." He said as he headed toward the basement where all the fun was.

Once the pizza arrived and Edward had paid, we both sat in the black leather sofa that was in front of a HUGE flat screen. We saw "Just Married" with Ashton Kucher and Brittany Murray while we eat the big pizza and laughed our butts off. When it was around 5 p.m. Edward said that he needed to take me home because Alice wanted some girl time with me (shit!) but that we needed to stop at a car gallery where a friend was working since he owe Edward some money and he needed it; so now we were at the gallery and Edward just bought a beautiful red Vanquish.

**~END OF FLASHBACK~**

We were heading toward Forks and I didn't get it so I asked. "Are we going to Forks?"

"No, we're going to La Push." He said and I didn't even know that he knew La Push.

"How did you know about La Push?" I asked again.

"Remember how I told you that my parents had a house on the outsides of Forks, well they also have a summer house near La Push." _Well that made sense. _"So Bella go headed and put whatever you like of my iPod." Edward said.

So I grabbed his iPod and started scrolling though artists of all kind of genres, artists like Aerosmith, Bob Marley, Coldplay, Daughtry, Epica, Fool's Garden, Green Day, Hoobastank, Israel Kamakawiwo Ole, Jimi Hendrix, Jack Johnson, Louis Armstrong, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Muse, Maroon 5, Nightwish, NIN, Oasis, The Police, Queen, The Ramones, Soda Stereo, The Beatles, Van Morrison, XTC, 3 Days Grace. _And that's just naming some of my favorites from his iPod, because he has around 214 artists._

I also noticed that he had a lot of classic music from Chopin to Apocalyptica. _Even though Apocalyptica isn't really classic they do have many covers of the classics. _From all the music he has in his iPod I put on some Coldplay. As "Yellow" came up, I remembered one of the last dates we had.

**~START OF FLASHBACK~**

_Bones are sinking like stones  
All that we fall for  
Homes places we've grown  
All of us are done for_

And we live in a beautiful world (yeah we do yeah we do)  
We live in a beautiful world

Edward was calling. _Funny, changed the ringtone I had for him. _After talking for a while he told me to get ready that we were going out on another date. What should I do? What would Kris do?

I thought back to her when she went on mysterious dates and how she had chosen her outfits. I'm going to wear a sun dress. _The yellow one that came just above my knees since today I'm feeling freakishly happy for some reason_.

I'm nervous and I don't know to expect, Edward always tends to surprise me with his original ideas for dates. I pack my phone in my bag (_just in case)_ and I go to the living room and turn on the TV while I wait for Edward to get here. Within a few minutes, there is a knock on the door and my heart flutters with nervousness. _Shit he's here; why the fuck am I so nervous and happy today? _

Being a total gentleman like always, he leads me toward his car and I get seated in the passenger seat, then I look at the back seat. There is a blanket, a basket, and a bottle of wine. _Are we going on a picnic?_ I raised an eyebrow at him and he just smiled at me. _Fine, keep your dirty little secret._

We go driving down the coast and I have no idea what to expect. Edward suddenly pulls over the side of the road and I realize that we are at Sunset Hill a beautiful beach just 20 minutes from my house; I'm about to ask him what he's doing when he gets out of the car and goes around to open my door. I get out with a confused look on my face; he laughs ever so softly, his face pulling into an amused grin, as his bright green eyes were twinkling with excitement. He goes to get the basket and blankets out as I look across the road and saw the most beautiful ocean view I had ever seen here in Seattle. He takes my hand and we walked across the road. He leads us to a pathway, and after that, I see a yate (_ok I see a lot of then but give me a break) _that is named "The Ocean's Rose".

We held hands and leaned into each other as we walked along the beach toward what Edward told me was his 'boat'; he said then that he wanted to walk for a while and just talk before we went to his 'boat'. The road wasn't far away, just high-up so we could easily hear the cars going by but it wasn't a distraction. It seemed to magically fit with the scene. Edward talked to me about everything, from cars to his thoughts on life. It was so intriguing. And at times I caught myself staring into his intense, beautiful green eyes.

Suddenly as I was about to reply to a question Edward asked, there was screeching of car tires and honks followed. A flashback of the car crash that took Kris away came rushing in. I felt dizzy and my eyes were going black. _It's happening again! Why is it? I have to save her! Kris? _I began screaming my sister's name. It was terrifying. I couldn't stop it; I couldn't make it go away. I couldn't save her.

The next thing I was aware of was Edward holding me off the ground in a giant bear hug. He was basically cradling me and I realized what had just happened. My white face became just slightly less pale as I felt myself blush with embarrassment.

"I'm sorry Edward." I apologized, feeling ashamed. I can't be scared of car honks for the rest of my life. _Keep it together Bella; you're a big girl now._

Edward carefully let me down, and helped me sit on the ground on top one of the blankets. "I'm the one that's sorry Bella; I should have picked a better spot to do this… not beside a busy highway."

"No! Edward! It's amazing! This is just perfect you couldn't have done it any better. It's so romantic and being here with you is the best thing." I told him confidently, leaning my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me.

"Thank you Bella. I feel the same with you; I would never want to be anywhere else then here right now with you. You're very important to me Bella, from the moment you sang with me 'Utopia'. I feel for you. I'm falling in love with you every day that I pass with you."

My heart skipped a beat and I felt like I was on cloud nine. I was light-headed because of my mental breakdown a few minutes ago, but I was even dizzier because of what he had just told me.

I opened my mouth to respond but he put a finger to my lips and said, "Hold on, I have something for you." He reaches over to the basket and brings it to his lap. He first wraps the extra blanket around me and then continues to open it.

He took out what looked like a journal and handed it to me. "Don't open it quite yet." He says to me. I look down at the basket and gasped when he pulled out a tiny keyboard. Thoughts of Kris die away as I try to guess what Edward was up to. _He just told me he was falling in love with me! What more could he do?_

He puts the keyboard down beside him and then takes out an expensive bottle of wine and two expensive wine glasses. He pours one full class for me and him.

"I'd like to give a toast for the feelings I have for you Isabella Swan." He clinks my glass and I take a big sip of the wine. He leans over and kisses me, ever so softly. He releases my lips to soon, and I nearly groaned in annoyance. He turned his keyboard on and played me a beautiful, sensual melody. I close my eyes and slightly sway to the beautiful music. How he managed to make something sound so amazing on a 20 key keyboard is beyond me but he did it wonderfully. Unknowingly tears run down my face and I didn't even notice he stopped until his warm, soft hands gently caressed my cheeks and wiped the tears away. He leaned down and kissed me again, this time with more passion, lust, and love. I released myself from the blanket and turn my body to face his. His hand travelled down my neck, past my shoulders, down my side and ended on my hip. I wanted him to touch me more, but I wasn't ready for this. He seemed to know that and kept his hands at my hip and occasionally brought them up and down my back.

He released my lips after an eternity of bliss and presented me with a small vase with a large single red rose. I cried again because of the total shock and awe of how much effort Edward had put into this.

"I'm falling for you too Edward." I said with a final soft kiss.

**~END OF FLASHBACK~**

"'Clock' is so easy to play on piano." Edward said 'Clocks' started playing and as he brought me out of that beautiful memory.

"Yeah it is but I haven't finished learning it." I said.

"I could help you… if you want to of course." He said as he nervously 'combed' his hair with a few strokes of it.

"I would love to." I said shyly with a small smile.

After the longest drive ever we were finally near La Push and after driving for 5 more minutes we pulled up at this beautiful white beach house. The car stopped. "Bella," he started saying as he nervously passed his hand through his hair 3 times before talking again. "I hope you don't mind but Alice and Angela pack you an overnight bag since I wanted for us to stay here for the weekend, but um… if you don't want to we could always go back." He said as he ran his hand through his hair again.

"Edward I would love to stay here with you tonight." I said while blushing 15 different shades of crimson.

"Great! Ok so how about I give you a little tour before I start with dinner." He said.

"You're making dinner?" I asked a bit astonished.

"Yes and you can't help since its part of the surprise, now come on I'll show you around.

After Edward showed me the living room, the kitchen, the 7 bedroom, the library, his father's office, the games and TV room, I was led toward an exclusive part of the house. Once we entered I saw why.

"Wow… do you have a music room in every house of yours?" I asked not really expecting an answer.

"Well… sort of. At my parents house in London I have one, in the house in Forks I have one, here I do too and at my place I have one too as you already know." He said. _Ha right and he's super rich and I didn't know? I'm soooo ignorant and blind._

While Edward made us dinner, he told me to go watch TV so I was currently watching Dr. House but I really wasn't paying much attention to it.

"Hey B dinner's ready, come and get it." Edward said. _Aw that sounded so homey. Sigh. _

"Wow Edward you do cook great this is delicious." I said as I had my second plate of lasagna.

"Thank you." He said with a light blush on his cheeks. _Aw he's blushing._

Once we finished, Edward and I went to the TV and games room and hang out for a while.

"Bella I want to talk to you about something?" Edward said nervously as we sat down on this big couch.

"Ok." I said.

"Bella like I told you a few days ago, I'm falling for you and hard and I want to know if you want something serious with me?" He said looking directly into my eyes. _OMG he want me to be his girlfriend._

"I would love to have something serious with you Edward but do you want it to be public?" I asked him.

"Bella I want everyone to know that you are mine." He said with a lustful look on his eyes. _God I have to kiss him. _So I did. I grabbed his hair and pulled him to me as we connected our lips together. It started out slow and sweet but then Edward started licking my upper lip for permission to go in and I let him; our tongues fought for dominance.

We broke our kiss to breathe as we joined our forehead together. "God I love kissing you." Edward said and he made me giggle. "and I love making you laugh you look soooo beautiful."

"It's because of you Edward you make me happy, really happy." I said as I kissed him again.

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	10. Chapter 10: The Start of a New Begining

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**THIS CHAPTER IS EDITED SO THANKS TO EDWARDCULLEN123 I LOVE YA GIRLY.**

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**CHAPTER 10**

**B.P.O.V.**

Today had been the best day ever; I was finally official with Edward as his girlfriend, he had been so nice and sweet that I couldn't say no even if I didn't want too, but I did want to be with him. After a few hours of talking, Edward and I had decided that it was late enough to go to bed and after putting on the small black with blue pajama's that Alice had packed into the small carry-on; I made my way toward the kitchen to get a glass of water and after drinking it I went to bed.

"_Kris please can you stop speeding, all we need is to get stopped by the cops." I tell Kristine since she's speeding and we really don't need dad to see the police report of his two daughters being arrested for driving under the influence and with one of them __being a miner. And to top it all it's raining cats and dogs. Ha ha, cats, dogs. L.O.L._

"_Oh come on Bella its way too late and its raining way to hard for the cops to see us." _

_CRASH. PAIN. DARKNESS. _

_This time there was no melody that was there to comfort me._

_I was in a graveyard, a dark and scary graveyard. In the distance I saw what looked like a human figure standing in front of a gravestone. As I slowly walked toward the human figure I realized that it was a woman and that she was crying._

"_Are you alright?" I asked the girl as I put my hand on her shoulder._

"_I don't know you tell me." She said as she turned around. Kristine. It was Kristine and she looked horrible, full of bruises and cuts. _

"_Oh my god, Kris what happened to you?" I said as I started crying._

"_Don't you remember little sis, you did this to me, thanks to you I'm dead." She said as she disappeared leaving me in front of HER gravestone._

_Kristine Renee Swan_

_May 29, 1983_

_February 7, 2004_

'_Perhaps the only thing that hurts more than saying goodbye is not having the chance to__ say goodbye to you.'_

"_No, please NO! I BEG YOU NOO!" I screamed as I fell onto the floor. _

"_NO!" _

"Bella please wake up." I heard a voice followed by somebody shaking me as I screamed 'no'.

It was Edward. "Oh Edward!" I said to him crying as he hugged me hard and tight.

"Shhhh Bella, it's ok, you'll be ok it was just a dream." He said as he cradled me and lulled me telling me that I was ok.

When I was calm enough to talk, I looked at Edward with tearful and I saw that he had a sad expression.

"I'm _so _sorry Edward." I said as the tears continued to fall.

"For what Bella?" He said with angst in his voice.

"For waking you up." I said as a hiccup came and went.

"No Bella you don't have to be sorry, I don't want you to endure your pain alone anymore, and I want to be there for you." He said with sadness.

"Thanks." I whispered. "Can you please stay with me tonight?" I whispered shyly.

"Of course Bella." He said with a sweet smile.

And with that we fell asleep together as he hugged me toward him.

As I slowly woke up I felt something warm holding me and I couldn't have felt better. "Mornin'." He said as he kissed my neck. _Shudder._

"Thanks for last night; you have no idea the nightmare I had." I said shuddering.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

"Maybe later, I'm really hunger right know." I said as my stomach growled.

"Ok then what do you want for breakfast?" He asked as we went to the kitchen.

"I don't know anything really." I said as I sat on a stool.

"You know what; I'll make you a vegetarian omelet." He said as he grabbed all the ingredient to make one.

Once my omelet was done Edward went to make himself regular pancakes but I didn't let him.

"Edward I'll do your breakfast, now sit down." I said as I went and grabbed some blueberries to make blueberry pancakes. "Do you like blueberry pancakes?"

"Oh yeah, I love them." _Great, then I'll make some._

Once the pancakes were done, we both sat down and ate our food. Edward complemented on how good my pancakes were and I complemented on how delicious the omelet was. Once we were done we went our ways and took a bath. After a much deserved hot bath I went to explore the small carry-on to see that Alice had packed, and to my surprise, I find a long sleeve silk dress with gathered ruffle detail at shoulders and self-cord at sleeves & waist. A scoop neck, self-gathered ruffle embellishments at shoulders, self-cord with metal tips feeds through loops at cuffs, self-cord with metal tips feeds through 2 self loops at side seams, curved hem, a metal button and loop closures down center back; going with this dress there is a dark-blue mid-weight stretch-denim skinny jeans with faded patches and whiskering and low-rise; and the shoes! God help me they were HUGE! Black leather ankle boots with a heel that measures approximately 6 inches, with a cut-out detail at ankle, a glossy finish, an almond toe, a silver-tone zip fastening and designer-stamped zip-pull at back and a leather sole. They were beautiful but deadly. _I knew it, Alice wants me dead. _

Anyways, I got dressed and head toward the living room where I can hear a TV on. When I saw Edward sitting comfortably on the coach looking as sexy as he can wearing a black v-neck shirt with a leather jacket and leather jeans. _HOT!_

"Ahem." I interrupted so could get Edward's attention off of the TV and toward me. I said shyly.

"Wow Bella you look… beautiful." He said as he got up from the coach and turning off the TV. "Can I kiss you?"

"Do you really have to ask?" I said blushing as he lowered he head and I stud up on my tip toes to kiss him. He pressed his lips on mine and I felt his warmness all over; he then went and opened his mouth and started nibbling on my lower lip until I opened my mouth to let him in and we fought for dominance. After what felt like minutes or rather hours, we separated and as breathless as we both were he kissed me again.

**E.P.O.V.**

I just _LOVE _kissing Bella, she has the most beautiful and puffy pink lips that I have ever met and kissed. We had spent the best weekend together, she was finally my girlfriend. After all those months dating I had finally had the balls to ask her to be my girl and she had said yes!

Even though I hate when Alice is right I had to give it to her when she said a few months ago that I was going to meet someone that will change my ways. When we had fired Tanya, Alice had told me that her replacement was going to 'rock my world' her words not mine; anyways a month later Caius our manager came into the recording room with Bella and Angela her best friend/manager and when she started singing I just knew that Alice was right.

"Edward what is the band going to do for Vicky's birthday?" Bella asked.

"I'm not sure I think you ask Alice." I said as I kept driving. We were currently heading toward Seattle after we had lunch at my beach house in La Push.

Going back to my thoughts, when I first heard Bella sing it was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard and not only that but she was one hell of a song writer. Her words were sad and full with angst which made me even more interested in not only her present but her past.

When I first asked her out on a date I knew she was going to decline since she doubted for a fraction of a second but for some reason she said yes. She never smiled though and when she first mentioned 'Kris' I could have sworn that it was an ex boyfriend of hers, and to really find out that it was her sister it made me relax; that is until she told me her story. Thing is, I just couldn't believe she had suffered so much at such a young age, it just made my heart break.

From that day on I knew I couldn't lose her and I made myself promise that if it cost me my life I was going to see her laugh, no matter what. And when I did, it was the most beautiful laugh ever, just beautiful.

When we finally got to her apartment building, I helped her out and grabbed the small carry-on that Alice had made for her with new clothes. I'll have to remember to thank Alice for buying those heels she had on because it made me thing about how I would like to have her with those boots only while she pressed then against my ass. _Shit, mind out of the gutter Cullen she's a virgin you don't even know if she really want you that way._

"Edward would you like to come in?" Bella asked as we finally were at front of her door.

"Um… sure why not." I said trying to adjust my current hard on so I could walk into her apartment.

Once she offered and got my drink we sat down on her coach while drinking and being silent. It wasn't really a comfortable silence but it wasn't an uncomfortable one either. Thing is we were just looking into our eyes and in that moment I but my drink down and the beast inside of me had to had her so I attacked her mouth kissing her passionately and reclining her body onto the coach so that I could be on top of her and she didn't push me back, no! She encouraged me by grabbing my hair and pulling me toward her and deepening the kiss while I slowly put my hands under her shirt and massaging her very flat stomach as she moaned into my mouth.

_Shit we have to stop. _No we don't she wants this as much as we do. _Shut up voice I can't just take her virginity, and if I did, I wouldn't do it on her coach. _Oh, come on you pussy, look she's pulling of your jacket.

"Bella…" I started saying breaking our kiss. "We can't do this." I said as she pulled at my shirt.

"Oh yes we can." She said with a smirk. _Shit, I'm screwed._

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	11. Chapter 11: The Beauty and The Beast

**ITS FINALLY EDITED SO I HOPE YOU LOVE IT. IT'S A BIT SHORT BUT I NEEDED TO LEAVE THE CLIFFIE SO YOU GUYS CAN VOTE.**

**THANKS TO EDWARDCULLEN123 MY BETA FOR HELPING ME OUT.**

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**CHAPTER 11**

**B.P.O.V.**

"Bella we can't do this." Edward said as I pulled at this shirt.

"Oh yes we can." I said with an evil smirk. _Damn right if I'm not going to get any tonight since he's such a tease… like all the time._

"B please I want your first time to be special, not on your coach." He said with a frown. _Sigh... he doesn't want me. _ I stopped pulling at his shirt and got off the coach to go to my room. Yes people I was pissed and yes, I know I'm going too fast but honestly, I really want him.

"Fine." I said as I grabbed the drinks and took them to the kitchen before I even went to my room. I felt him sigh and get up to follow me just as I entered the kitchen; putting the bottles aside, I went to wash my hands as two strong and warm arms encircled them around my little waste.

"B I want to be with you too, you have no idea how much, I just want to make it special since it's your first time and it will most likely hurt as hell." He said as his breath tickled my neck.

"Ok." I said reluctantly as I turned to face him and hug him back.

"Good evening people! I know you all want to talk but I need you to shut up for a moment!" Caius said as he entered in the reunion room in which the band was at the moment talking and buzzing with energy since today Caius was going to give us the dates of the concerts.

"Ok people the tickets are on sale right now and your first concert is right after Halloween. It's basically the same list of cities we had before you guys fired Tanya but these are the first 3. November 25: Heerhugowaard, Netherlands at Waerdse Temple; then on November 27: Tilburg, Netherlands at Venue 013; November 28: Klein Amsterdam, Netherlands at Paradiso." And he went on and on about all the concerts and in what hotels we were going to be staying. _I know, I know. I know I'm supposed to be paying attention but I'm too busy looking at Edward._

"So Bella…" Alice started saying bringing me out of my thoughts. "Every year one of the couples is in charge of organizing the Halloween Party that we celebrate since forever; this year it's Jazzy and my turn and Rose, Vicky and I were wondering if you would let us dress you and Edward up. Can we?"

"Oh, um… I don't know, why don't you ask Edward." I said looking toward him.

"Already have and he said yes because he knows what's good for him." She said sternly.

Once I agreed since I knew that I wasn't going to get out of it, Alice told me that since Halloween was this weekend that we were going to go shopping today. _Fuck! I don't want to go shopping with Alice. Help!_

"Ok guys we girls are going to go shopping for Bella's costume, I suggest you do the same Edward right after I tell you what to buy. See you later!" She said as Rose and Vicky both grabbed me and took me down stairs where Vicky's punch boogie was. _Just kidding she has a beautiful red convertible mini cooper._

Once we were at the mall the girls high jacked me and took me toward a costume store. I really don't know when, how or by who but I was half naked in less the 5 second. _I'm not kidding you! _Anyhow Rose shoved me into the dressing room and handed me a costume.

"Hey B try this." She said closing the curtain. _Oh, hell no!_

"Rosalie there is no way in HELL I'm going to be a fucking scarecrow." I yelled at her as I through it at her. "Give me another no."

"Hey Bella try this one." Vicky said with a giggle. _Red. Fuck an apple._

"Ha very funny Vick but there aren't enough maggots to help me worm out of this one, are there?" I said as I tossed it at her.

"Here try this one." Said Alice as she handed a Cleopatra costume. _Ok this one isn't so bad._

"Ok so maybe this one but I don't know." I said taking it off.

After ten more costumes Vicky had THE one. She gave me a yellow Belle dress, you know Belle from 'The Beauty and the Beast'. It was just beautiful and all puffy.

"Vicky I love you and I love this dress." I said with a small smile.

Once my dress was bought we ate some sushi and headed home. Once the girls left, I through myself on my bed. I don't know why but I had a feeling that everything was going to go out great, especially since Alice is a midget of a control freak and she will be Snow White who is pretty like Alice. Oh and Jasper was or is her Prince Charming. Funny thing is Rose's costume, she's a devil; oh and Emmitt is an angel how ironic. And Vicky is a cop and James a prisoner. I really couldn't wait for the party specially since Edward is going as the Beast.

_I've got to get out of here. _We were finally at the party and it was full of people in costumes and I'm currently alone on a corner trying to not have a nervous breakdown. _Oh didn't I tell you, I'm claustrophobic, yay me!_

"Bella are you ok?" Edward said as he finally found me. And all I could do was shake my head 'no'. "What's wrong." He said with a worried frown on his beautiful face.

"I need to get out of here." I whispered.

"Ok come." He said as he grabbed my hand and led me up stair and into his room. "What just happened B?" He said.

"I just had a claustrophobic attack Edward, I'm sorry." I said looking down.

"Sorry for what? And you're claustrophobic? Bella if you didn't want to be here you could have just told Alice that you didn't want to be around all these people and that you just wanted to be with use or whatever. Look B I'm sorry, do you want to stay here and what TV or something with me?" He rambled. _Why is he rambling like a geek-ish teenage boy?_

"Edward do you mind if I borrow one of your shirts and change into it, this dress may be really beautiful but it's not really comfortable." I asked him and then he went to his closet and grabbed a gray t-shirt. Once I was out of the dress (_which wasn't an easy task and Edward had to help me_) and into the t-shirt I realized that this was Edward's UCLA t-shirt.

"Edward you went to UCLA?" I said with an overwhelmed tone.

"Yeah, why?" He said as he grabbed my hand and pulling making me fall on top of him.

"I don't know, I just… I guess or I didn't expect for you to have gone to college for some reason." I said blushing. _Fuck! He's making me blush a lot lately._

"Oh really?" he said looking at me directly into my eyes like if he was looking deep into my soul.

"Yeah. Anyways what did you study?" I asked trying to not embarrass myself anymore.

"Well I have minors in Latin, Music History, Biomedical Research and Mathematics, and a mayor on Ethnomusicology and in Music." He said proudly.

"Wow and when did you do all this?" I said astonished.

"Not long ago." He said with a smirk. _Cocky son of a bitch. _"B what did you study?" He asked.

"Oh um… I have a major on Medieval and Renaissance Studies and a minor on Latin and Music." I said.

"That cool, I really like the medieval era." He said.

After a few long minutes in silence, I snuggled into Edward's side and asked. "Hey E I think I'm ready." I whispered.

"You think? B you have to be sure I don't want this to be rushed and I want it to feel special B we already discussed, why are you so stubborn." He said with a frustrated tone.

"Edward," I started saying as I sat up to look at him. "I'm sure that I'm ready and um… I… I trust you." I said shyly.

"Oh Bella." He said as he started kissing me passionately. My hands took a mind of their own and grabbed Edward's hair and pulled him to me. He then grabbed my/his t-shirts and lifted it just under my breast but I wanted more, I wanted him to touch me and touch me everywhere.

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	12. Chapter 12: Virgin Brown Eyed Girl

**MY BETA FINALLY GOT AROUND TO EDITING SO HERE IT IS. ****NOW READ THIS BITCHES :p**

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**CHAPTER 12**

"Oh Bella." He said as he started kissing me passionately. My hands took a mind of their own and grabbed Edward's hair and pulled him to me. He then grabbed my/his t-shirts and lifted it just under my breast but I wanted more, I wanted him to touch me and touch me everywhere.

"Edward, please, please touch me." I moaned looking into his beautiful green eyes. I wanted to look away from his green eyes, but I couldn't, it was just too intense and full of lust. The intensity and mood in the air had shifted from awkwardness to desire and lust in a matter of seconds.

"Ed…ward, please… need more, please… needs." And now I was rambling and stuttering and moaning.

"Needs? Now tell me, what are the needs that you want me to take care of Isabella?" He murmured with a lustful tone as he leaned forward and I leaned backward, eventually settling on my elbows as he towered over me, his body nearly parallel to mine. I shifted my legs so they were on either side of his body so he could position himself almost fully on top of me.

"Is this what you need Isabella?" he asked as he pressed his lower half of his body to mine and ground his obviously enlarged and thick member into my pelvis making me gasp. I could feel the heat radiating from him through the thin sweatpants he had changed into. I had never felt so much lust in my life

"Or maybe you need this?" He suggested as he leaned down and grazed his nose and lips over my almost covered nipples, lightly nipping with his lips making me moan hard and raw.

"So tell me, Isabella, what do you need me to do?" His eyes were almost black, feral-looking. It might have scared me if I wasn't like aroused in my entire life. He shifted his position and ran his nose from my jaw to my earlobe. He lightly sucked and bit on my ear before tracing the shell on my ear with his tongue. I felt his hand wrap around my waist and pull my body closer to his. _Damn it! He has to be the biggest I'll ever have. _

It was just too hard to think. I was certain of what I wanted him to do, but I couldn't say it. My body screamed for him to touch me, to fill me, to do whatever the hell he wanted to do. I was still a little scared being my first time and all but right now, I couldn't find it in myself to give a damn what he did.

"I need you Edward; I need you to touch me." I whispered.

"Where?" He whispered into my ear while giving me goosebumps.

"Shit. Everywhere." I whimpered.

I heard him exhale and slowly move his hand from my waist and trail down my side to my thigh. He pulled his body back and began running both his hands softly and lightly up and down my legs.

"Is this how you want me to touch you?" He smirked at me. _Smug son of a bitch bastard._

"No. I want you to touch me here." I grabbed his right hand, letting his fingers trail along my inner thigh, leading his palm to ghost over my apex. "And I want you to touch me here." I whispered as I grabbed his left hand and placed it firmly on my breast. I heard him take a deep breath and slowly exhale again.

"As you wish," he murmured. He leaned forward and shifted his body so that he was lying on his side next to me. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him in for a deep kiss. I needed the contact desperately and was greatly relieved when he kissed me back with a force and passion that I had never felt from him.

I let out a low moan and shifted as I felt his hand still resting between my legs. It was as if my sounds reminded him of his position and he used the heel of his palm to grind against my clit. Then he bent his fingers and stroked the rest of me.

"Edward," I said between gasps of breath, "I want you to touch me, not my panties." He slipped his hand into my panties and I groaned when he reached his destination.

"Bare, Bella? I wouldn't have guessed that," he said against my lips.

"Yeah, you don't like it?" I said. _I knew I shouldn't have let Rose talk me into this, SHIT!_

"It's more than okay." He kissed me again. His hand resumed its position. This time his finger was tracing me as his palm lightly moved in circles over my clit once again. He slipped one finger in and I gasped.

"Jesus fuck, you feel good." He cried. He instantly slipped a second digit in causing me to moan. He slowly moved his two fingers in and out of me; I knew that that was because he wanted to make me get used to the feeling of his fingers deep in me. He bent his head lower and began to suck on my nipple through my thin t-shirt causing me to moan louder.

"Edward!" I called out as I began to grind against his hand. "Please," I desperately begged him. "Please make me come." His speed increased; I could feel him curling his fingers inside me, hitting that sweet spot. A few strokes later I felt the swirling fire building in my abdomen and working its way down. He rubbed more furiously, as my orgasm was building quickly.

"Jesus, Bella you're beautiful." He growled in my ear. "I need you to come, I need to see it." The vibrations from his chest and from his growl were the final snapping point. I squeezed my eyes shut and arched my back as I ground into his hand. I saw stars and comets and rainbows and SHIT as every nerve-ending came alive. I called out his name over and over again. It was one of the most intense orgasms I had ever experienced.

Coming down from my high, I was sure of one thing. Whatever Edward Cullen did with his hands, I wanted him to do it again and again and again. If he could do that with just his hand, the prospect of us doing anything more both scared and excited the hell out of me.

I half expected him get out of bed and wash his hands, but when Edward pulled his hand away from me slowly making me look up. Once he made sure I was watching, he slowly slid each finger in and out of his mouth. "Delicious." He said moaning.

Once I was laying on what would become my place in his bed I thanked him.

"Thank you." I said as I looked at the ceiling.

"There's no need to thank me love. I've wanted to do that since I first laid eyes on you." He admitted.

"Really?"

"Yes, really." He said chuckling. "Now is not the time for that discussion. Right now I want you to stay the night with me."

"Really?" I said again. _Wow now I sound like a broken record._

"Yes." He said with another chuckle.

"Besides, Alice wants to take you shopping and before you object and just so you know, you won't be buying a lot just a few things for the tour." He said as he wrapped he hands around my waist and kissed my hair, then he grabbed his cell and texted somebody.

"Who are you texting?" I asked.

"Alice. I told her to move the party to her and Jasper's place, because I want tonight to be all about us." He said with a sweet smile on his face.

As I started to drift into unconsciousness I could have swore that I heard Edward whisper 'I love you'.

"No Alice I don't want to get lingerie!" I yelled at her as she tried to get me into Victoria's Secret. _Fuck, now everyone is looking. Please God kill me now!_

"Oh come on Bella," She whined. "I know that you and Edward are _soooo_ close to finally admitting your love which will lead to hot, steamy and hot sex!" She said frustrated while I stood looking at her as if she had 4 heads.

"Um Alice… I don't think that by wearing lingerie Edward and I are going to have our first time anytime soon. Apparently he wants to make my first time _really _special so… yeah." I said blushing.

"Wait, what?" She said. _Fuck I forgot that Alice didn't know! Yay me _(Insert sarcasm here).

"Nothing Alice and fine lets by me some undies." I said trying to divert _that _conversation for now.

"Oh HELL no! Bella you're a virgin?" She whispered- yelled at me.

"Yes Alice, now can we please not talk about it now." I said blushing 15 shades of red.

"Oh my god, we're going home NOW!" She said grabbing my hand and all her AND my bags and almost running toward her car.

We didn't talking on our way to my house but she did look at me oddly at every red lights we had to stop at; now, I understand that being a 23 year old virgin now a day's wasn't really common but come on! Alice is exaggerating with this. Once we were at my building, Alice grabbed everything and went straight to my apartment and then, she started talking. She first asked me if I was for real with the whole virgin thing and I told her that yes I was, then, she preceded on asking my about my ex boyfriends and what I've done with them and I told her that sure I've given bj's and hj's to both of them (yes, I've only had two boyfriends, unless you count the time at kinder garden when I told Jackson that he was my boyfriend because if that count I've only had three) and sure they've gone down on me but I just never really felt comfortable enough that I'd let either of them to poke me. Anyways she went on and on and on until around 6:30 pm when Edward came to save me from more torture.

"Ok Alice get the fuck out, I think I deserve some time with my girl." He said sternly once I opened the door to let him in.

"Fine." She huffed as she got up and coming to hug and kiss me and then she left.

"Oh thank god you're here." I said hugging him and then grabbed his hand and while intertwining our fingers.

"Anytime love." She said as he kissed my cheek. _Sigh! He called me love… Wait, what? Oh what ever._

"B I have something to tell you." He said as we sat down at my couch. "Can I borrow your guitar?" He said nervously.

Once I told him where it was, he tuned it, played some notes and then he started singing one of my favorite songs.

_"Hey where did we go,  
Days when the rains came  
Down in the hollow,  
Playin' a new game,  
Laughing and a running hey, hey  
Skipping and a jumping  
In the misty morning fog with  
Our hearts a thumpin' and you  
My brown eyed girl,  
You my brown eyed girl."_

"Whatever happened  
To Tuesday and so slow  
Going down the old mine  
With a transistor radio  
Standing in the sunlight laughing,  
Hiding behind a rainbow's wall,  
Slipping and sliding  
All along the water fall, with you  
My brown eyed girl,  
You my brown eyed girl." 

I just had to sing with him this part, I just had to. He knows my favorite song and he is singing it to me, the best boyfriend ever. _God I love him._

Do you remember when we used to sing,  
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da

"So hard to find my way,  
Now that I'm all on my own.  
I saw you just the other day,  
My how you have grown,  
Cast my memory back there, Lord  
Sometime I'm overcome thinking 'bout  
Making love in the green grass  
Behind the stadium with you  
My brown eyed girl  
You my brown eyed girl."

_"Do you remember when we used to sing  
Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da."_

"Edward I love you." I said.

* * *

**JUST SO U KNOW BELLA WAS BORN IN JULY21 1987 SO THAT MAKE HERE 16 WHEN THE ACCIDENT WITH KRIS HAPPENS.**

**H****OW ABOUT THAT? DID YOU LIKE THE CLIFFIE AND IS EDWARD GOING TO SAY IT BACK, KEEP TUNE WITH 'THE GHOSTS OF THE PAST'.**

**OK SO YOU KNOW THE DRILL BLAH, BLAH,BLAH SO JUST REVIEW.**

**WITH LOVE, RG94**


	13. Chapter 13: The Swan Song

**READ THIS, VERY IMPORTANT:**

**HI PPL SO HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL HOPE YOU HAD A GREAT TIME WITH FAMILY OR FRIENDS AND I HOPE SANTA BROUGHT YOU A LOT OF STUFF BUT DON'T FORGET THERE ARE PPL ALL OVER THE WORLD THAT DIDN'T HAVE SUCH A GREAT CHRISTMAS SO THE ONLY THING I ASKED FOR CHRISTMAS WAS THAT YOU ALL COULD DONATE SOME MONEY TO ANY FOUNDATION OR FACILITY THAT HELP THE POOR, THE SICK AND THE INJURED THAT THIS REALLY HARD WINTER SEASON HAS GIVEN US.**

**AND THANKS EDWARDCULLEN123 FOR EDITING THIS. AND AS SHE CALLS THIS CHAPTER "Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant." HER WORDS NOT MINE**

* * *

CHAPTER 13

"Edward I love you." I said. You know, I would never come to regret what I just said; sure I'm shocked that I told him like that but it's too late now. I know it's way too soon but I just _know _deep in my core that Edward is my soul mate and that we're meant to be so why prolong what is already obvious?

'_A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.'_

Wise and sensible words from a wise woman like Elizabeth Gilbert; thing is I do want to spend my forever with Edward and I do hope that he will never leave me but… what if he does? Or, what if he doesn't love me back? All these questions have been in my mind for the few days since I realized that I loved him. He has change me _so_ much it surprise me; just a while ago I was smiling a real smile, one that I hadn't smile in a very long time and the pain I feel normally disappears when I'm with him, I'm even starting to laugh whole-heartedly! Just because he makes me laugh.

I was brought out of my thinking when I felt lips attack mine with such a passion I was left speechless and breathless. "I love you too my Bella, so much." Edward said with this huge, happy-sappy smile and I couldn't resist not smiling back. _He loves me back! He truly loves me! _That night we cuddled in my bed and I fell asleep in no time.

_I was in a field or rather a meadow with a beautiful black dress. Far away I could see a beautiful blossomed tree and there was somebody there. When I got to the tree what I saw made me smile, it was Kristine in a beautiful white flowing dress and a beautiful white and violet lily behind her ear._

"_Hey little sis." She said to me._

"_Kris!" I said surprised. I hadn't dreamed of her in awhile and I missed her._

"_So… I heard someone's in love." She sang as she hugged me._

"_I'm happy Kris, happier than I've ever been but even though I miss you like crazy, being with Edward made me realize that I can't live my life regretting and with guilt while the people I love are suffering with __**my**__ suffering. Kris don't ever stop coming to my dreams because they make me happy but they're not the only thing that make me happy right now." I said with tears in my eyes._

"_Bella it's time." She said with tears in her eyes as well._

"_For what?" I asked confused._

"_Sweetie you're letting go of me and by doing that you are ready to move on and live life at the fullest. As much as I miss you are really." She said hugging me._

"_Kristine I miss you so much." I said with tears in my eyes. _

"_Bella I want us to do this last thing together. Do you remember the melody I hummed to you with you were little." She said as I nodded. "Make a song out of it and do it for us." She said while fading away and as I woke up._

Once awake I looked at Edward sleeping soundly and in so much peace it just made me fall harder for him. Even though I wanted to stay in bed with hi and snuggle the melody and lyrics running through my head are more important. I had to do this for me and for Kris, so I got up from my comfort zone and after grabbing my jacket, my cell phone, my 'The Beatles' hand bag with my journal in it and my car keys.

Once I was in my car, I headed to this ballet studio not far from my apartment where they had a beautiful golden vintage baby grand piano. Once I got there did I realize that it was 3:30 a.m. which kind of made me rethink everything.

I know that the owner Ms. Siobhan Cope love hearing my play on the rare occasions that I did and no matter the time, and what makes things even easier is that she lived just above the studio. So in my pajamas I climbed the stairs that led to her place and rang the bell. After a few minutes Siobhan opened the door with her sleeping robe all around her.

"Sweet Bella that are you doing here?" She asked with a worried motherly tone.

"I'm so sorry to disturb you Ms. Cope but may I use your piano?" I asked while blushing embarrassment.

"Oh sweetie of course you can, come with me." She said as she grabbed the keys from the wall and closing the door. Once we were inside the studio she turned some lights on and after grabbing a chair where the moms' of the dancers sat, she opened the top of the piano and told me to play.

As I took out my journal I remembered the day that I bought it, I was walking around like I did sometimes when I wanted to think and I ended up in a beautiful witchcraft store, when I went in I saw this beautiful antique leather cotton book that was really a journal with blank pages, the lady in the store said that she made it so that it created a rough, weathered look and feel, that is was bound in antiqued leather that takes on a wrinkled and faded appearance that gives the impression of an old, aged book; and I fell in love so I bought it.

Taking out a pen, I opened my journal and after passing some pages in which I had already written a thing or two, I finally found a blank page and wrote: The Swan Song. It was the perfect title for this song even though a bit ironic.

"Bella sweetheart if I may ask, what are you going to play this early morning?" Siobhan said.

"The Swan Sing Ms. Cope it's a song I'm writing at the moment." I said sighing.

"The silver Swan, who living had no Note,

When Death approached, unlocked her silent throat.

Leaning her breast against the reedy shore,

Thus sang her first and last, and sang no more:

"Farewell, all joys! O Death, come close mine eyes!

"More Geese than Swans now live, more Fools than Wise."

"Who's that from?" I asked.

"Orlando Gibbons' 'The Silver Swan." She whispered. I tried playing Kris' melody and after a few hours the melody was perfect, now for the lyrics it was going to be a pit hard but I know I could do it but all of a sudden I was brought out of my thinking but Siobhan.

"Did you know that the phrase "swan song" is a reference to an ancient belief that the Mute Swan is completely mute during its lifetime until the moment just before it dies, when it sings one beautiful song?" She said with a faraway look.

"Mute Swans are not actually mute during life though – they hiss – and they do not sing as they die. This folktale has been contested ever since antiquity. Nevertheless, the folktale has remained so appealing that over the centuries it has continued to appear in various artistic works. Aesop's fable of "The Swan Mistaken for a Goose" alludes to it: "The swan, who had been caught by mistake instead of the goose, began to sing as a prelude to its own demise. His voice was recognized and the song saved his life." Or Ovid mentions it in "The Story of Picus and Canens": "There, she poured out her words of grief, tearfully, in faint tones, in harmony with sadness, just as the swan sings once, in dying, its own funeral song." All she said was new to me, but in a weird cosmic way I could feel that there was a connection.

And so I started writing.

_Winter has come for me, can't carry on.  
The chains to my life are strong but soon they'll be gone.  
I'll spread my wings one more time._

Is it a dream?  
All the ones I have loved calling out my name.  
The sun warms my face.  
All the days of my life, I see them passing me by.

In my heart I know I can let go.  
In the end I will find some peace inside.  
New wings are growing tonight.

Is it a dream?  
All the ones I have loved calling out my name.  
The sun warms my face.  
All the days of my life, I see them passing me by.

As I am soaring I'm one with the wind.  
I am longing to see you again, it's been so long.  
We will be together again.

Is it a dream?  
All the ones I have loved calling out my name.  
The sun warms my face.  
All the days of my life, I see them passing me by.

After reading it a few times I sang the song to Siobhan and with all my heart and soul I poured all my sadness and loneliness and anger that I've come to save since Kris' death but know I feel free, free as a bird, free as a swan.

* * *

**SO AS A LATE CHRISTMAS PRESENT I WANT A LEAST 10 TO 20 REVIEWS THATS ALL I'M ASKING YOU CAN EVEN SAY THAT IT SUCKS.**

**WITH LOVE, RG94**


	14. Chap14:The Time Of Our Lifes In The Cage

**I AM SORRY. PLEASE DON'T KILL ME I'LL EXPLAIN BUT AFTER YOUR READ THIS CHAPTER. YOU'LL UNDERSTAND AT THE END.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 14**

"_Let him know that you know best  
Cause after all you do know best  
Try to slip past his defense  
Without granting innocence"_

"_Lay down a list of what is wrong  
The things you've told him all along  
And pray to God he hears you  
And pray to God he hears you"_

"_Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend  
Somewhere along in the bitterness  
And I would have stayed up with you all night  
Had I known how to save a life"_

"Bella you phone is ringing." Siobhan said. _Shit. _As I looked in my bag for my cell it stopped ringing. _Fuck. _Once I found it I saw I had a missed call from Edward so I called him back.

"_Bella where are you?" _He said sleepily.

"Um, I'm at a ballet studio with a friend." I said softly.

"_Why?" _He said and I heard some shuffling of sheets in the back ground.

"Well… you see she has a piano and I needed it." I said shyly.

"_Why do you need a piano at 6 am?" _He repeated.

"I'll tell you later I got to go." I said hanging up on him.

After another 30 minutes of playing the song and then writing the notes to the melody, I said good bye to Siobhan promising that I would come back soon to play for the girls and I headed home. Once I opened my apartment door Edward was pulling me in and closing the door.

"Why the fuck did you hang up on me?" He said madly.

"I'm sorry Edward… I just, there was something very important I had to do." I whispered with my head bowed down.

"Bella look at me." He said arrogantly but I didn't look at him since I didn't want him to see the tears I had in my eyes.

"Please look at me." He said softly and when I didn't look at him he grabbed my chin gently while tilting it until I was looking at him.

"What were you doing out in the crack of dawn B?" He said with angst written all over his beautiful face.

"Um, could we… maybe go and… um, lay down on my bed?" I stumbled shyly.

"Yes, of course." He said as he grabbed my hand and led us toward my room.

Once we were comfortably snuggling in my bed, my head on his bare chest and his arm around me did I start talking. I told him everything, I told him that once I had woken up from the induced coma on my sister's birthday ever since that day I would dream of her constantly and that thanks to those dreams I would write. I told him that Kris always cheered me up or when I needed a reminder and inspiration to write a sad and intense song or to just remember what I was like.

"Wow Bella I don't know what to say." He said. "That's amazing and sweet and just unimaginable."

After that we were silent and since I woke up at the crack of dawn I was really tired and mad as shit for not sleeping so that's what I did. I fell asleep in Edward's arms, dreaming happy dreams and feeling happy feelings.

"Hurry up Alice our plain is about to leave and we need to get to the boarding gate like 10 minutes ago." I said flustered.

"OK, ok come on then little miss Hurry up." She said mockingly.

We were finally going to go on tour with our first location being Heerhugowaard, Netherlands. Once we were on our plain everything went out smoothly, the long flight only had small turbulence and once we landed at Amsterdam we took our tour bus (yes I did say tour bus and it's totally weird) toward Heerhugowaard.

I was suddenly shaken awake by Edward (I didn't even realize that I had fallen asleep) while he kissed my cheek and told me that we were at that hotel. Once we were all settled in, I decided that I need a shower and a nap. After waking up, I got dressed in a simple pair of jeans with a white shirt and sneakers, and headed to the lobby where everyone was waking for me so we could go to the sound check you have the day before the concert. It took us a while to do all the sound check needed, but once it was done we went back to the hotel and everyone went their separate ways.___Give me strength to face the truth  
The doubt within my soul  
No longer I can justify  
The bloodshed in his name_

Is it a sin to seek the truth, the truth beneath the rose?  
Pray with me so I will find the gate to Heaven's door  
I believed it would justify the means  
It had a hold over me

Blinded to see  
The cruelty of the beast  
Here is the darkest side of me  
(Forgive me my sins)

The veil of my dreams  
Deceived all I have seen  
Forgive me for what I have been  
(Forgive me my sins)

Pray for me 'cause I have lost my faith in holy wars  
Is paradise denied to me 'cause I can't take no more?

Has darkness taken over me  
Consumed my mortal soul?  
All my virtues sacrificed  
Can Heaven be so cruel?

I believed it would justify the means  
It had a hold over me  
(Forgive me my sins)

Blinded to see  
The cruelty of the beast  
Here is the darkest side of me  
(Forgive me my sins)

The veil of my dreams  
Deceived all I have seen  
Forgive me for what I have been  
(Forgive me my sins)

I'm hoping, I'm praying  
I won't get lost between two worlds  
For all I've seen,  
The truth lies in between

Give me the strength to face the wrong that I have done  
Now that I know  
The darkest side of me

How can blood be your salvation  
And justify the pain  
That we have caused throughout the times

Will I learn what's truly sacred  
Will I redeem my soul  
Will truth set me free

(Forgive me my sins)

Blinded to see  
The cruelty of the beast  
Here is the darkest side of me  
(Forgive me my sins)

The veil of my dreams  
Deceived all I have seen  
Forgive me for what I have been  
(Forgive me my sins)

Applauses. So many of them and so loud, I was overwhelmed. "Thank you so much." And we left the stage; I could hear screams saying 'encore' over and over again, so we decided to give them one last song. "This is 'Frozen'." I whispered while closing my eyes. _I can't feel my senses  
I just feel the cold  
All colors seem to fade away  
I can't reach my soul  
I would stop running, if I knew there was a chance  
It tears me apart to sacrifice it all but I'm forced to let go_When I opened my eyes and looked up all I saw was Kris. And I smiled as a single tear rolled down my face.

_Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons I did it for you  
When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you  
You say that I'm frozen but what can I do?_

I can feel your sorrow  
You won't forgive me,  
but I know you'll be all right  
It tears me apart that you will never know but I have to let go

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons I did it for you  
When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you  
You say that I'm frozen but what can I do?

Everything will slip away  
Shattered peaces will remain  
When memories fade into emptiness  
Only time will tell its tale  
If it all has been in vain

I can't feel my senses  
I just feel the cold  
Frozen...  
But what can I do?  
Frozen...

Tell me I'm frozen but what can I do?  
Can't tell the reasons I did it for you  
When lies turn into truth I sacrificed for you  
You say that I'm frozen, frozen...

As the weeks passed, as well as the concerts, Edward and I got closer and closer together and we were having the best of times. The crowd saw going wild every time Edward and I showed any kind of affection. Life couldn't get any better. One of our biggest hits was 'Our Solemn Hour'. _Sanctus Espiritus redeem us from our solemn hour  
Sanctus Espiritus insanity is all around us  
Sanctus Espiritus! Sanctus Espiritus! Sanctus Espiritus!_

In my darkest hours I could not foresee  
That the tide could turn so fast to this degree  
Can't believe my eyes  
How can you be so blind?  
Is the heart of stone, no empathy inside?  
Time keeps on slipping away and we haven't learned  
So in the end now what have we gained?

Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour  
Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us  
Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,  
can we break free from chains of never-ending agony?

Are they themselves to blame, the misery, the pain?  
Didn't we let go, allowed it, let it grow?  
If we can't restrain the beast which dwells inside  
it will find it's way somehow, somewhere in time  
Will we remember all of the suffering  
Cause if we fail it will be in vain

Sanctus Espiritus, redeem us from our solemn hour  
Sanctus Espiritus, insanity is all around us  
Sanctus Espiritus, is this what we deserve,  
can we break free from chains of never-ending agony?

Like I said, life couldn't get any better. After some thinking I knew that what was missing was my gift to Edward and after tonight I would no longer be a virgin because I knew he was it for me.

I had asked Edward to come to my room after he was ready for bed because I had a surprise for him. And I knew that tonight was the night. Once I opened the door to let him in, I told him to lie on the bed while I went for his gift, so I went to the bathroom to put on a little gift Alice had given me a few hours later.

**~START OF FLASHBACK~**

"Bell please let me make this night perfect. I mean, my first time was awful and it hurt like hell and it was just… ugh, not good. I want you to feel sexy. That's all I'm asking for." Alice said while giving me her 'puppy' eyes that just couldn't be resisted.

"Fine, but nothing over the top. Something cute and that is totally me." I said while blushing.

"Well… I kinda already bought something." She said sheepishly.

"Alice!" As she showed me the piece of lingerie.

**~END OF FLASHBACK~**

As I made my way out of the bathroom I tried to guess Edward's reaction toward the piece I was wearing. When he finally saw me I saw a combination of emotions. Lust, wonder, doubt, happiness and over all love.

"Bella… what is this?" he whispered.

"This is me giving myself to you." I said with new found 'balls' as men would say.

"Are you sure?"

"100% sure, Edward… I'm ready." And the night was full with passion and love, and without hesitation.

**~ONE WEEK LATER~**

We had just arrived at this beautiful hotel in Stockholm that had this vintage and old architecture feel to it that made you feel like you were back in the 18 hundreds. The people who ran the hotel were nice people but they were very old fashion so we were unfortunately located in separate rooms. It was around 9 a.m. and I had to see Edward so after showering and putting sweatpants and a sweatshirt on, I headed toward his room to say good morning. Last night after checking into the hotel, Edward asked for another key for me even though he knows that after the first night I was going to take a bit of time to get used to my feeling toward the whole situation; not that he expected anything from me.

So as I walked down the corridor headed for his room I had a bad feeling that something wasn't quite right. As I opened the door what I saw broke my heart, it was Edward kissing a blonde vixen passionately and it broke my heart. I had trusted Edward with my life story, with my heart and with my virtue and he had, for lack of a better word, betrayed me and I've never felt this way, so lost and unloved.

So in tears, I softly closed the door and headed to my room to submerge myself into a pitiful depression, and like every time I was sad or lonely or just in need of release, I grabbed my journal and started writing. When I was done I called the girls and asked them to come and learn a new song I wanted to sing tonight at the show as an encore and when they read the lyrics they were shocked with the sadness and, in a way, the rage that I felt right now.

After teaching the girls the song I called all the guys except Edward since I didn't want him to know of the existence of this song until tonight. Once they learned everything, I got myself into a frenzy to learn this new song until perfection that I forgot to eat lunch.

Once the show had started I sang with all my might for our fans and for the pain I was feeling for Edward's lies and misguidance; we exited the stage leaving a crowd screaming for more, so after telling Felix to hold Edward down if he tried to go on stage, I signaled the band to go back outside to present the new song.

"Hi everyone, we all wanted to thank you all for coming and supporting us all the way, so I'm presenting this new song called 'Caged', I hope you like it." I said shyly. Then I started to sing.

"_These are the darkest clouds,  
That have surrounded me  
Now I find myself alone caught in a cage  
There's no flower I can find in here  
Not withering, not pale to me_

I looked at Edward with hatred and sadness singing the lyrics to him.

_Everyone with a friendly face  
Seems to hide some secret inside."_

"_He told me he loved me  
While he laughed in my face  
He just led me astray  
He took my virtue  
I feel so cold inside  
Sorrow has frozen my mind."_

"_My heart is covered  
With thoughts entangled  
How could it ever have felt so real?  
Is there a place more lonely than I feel within?  
Could I have seen?  
Could I have known?  
I just took it as the truth  
Everyone with a friendly face  
Seems to hide some secret inside"_

"_He told me he loved me  
While he laughed in my face  
He just led me astray  
He took my virtue  
I feel so cold inside  
Sorrow has frozen my mind."_

"_Always there to remind me  
It keeps me from believing  
That someone might be there  
Who frees me and never ever leaves me."_

When the drums sound loud and proud I fist pumped with the beat.

"_He told me he loved me  
While he laughed in my face  
He just led me astray  
He took my virtue  
I feel so cold inside  
Sorrow has frozen my mind."_

"Thank you." And I left the stage.

* * *

**OK I HOPE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT I AM ABOUT TO TELL YOU.**

**2011 STARTED OUT GREAT. I STARTED DATING THIS GUY AND I FELL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT IN AUGUST HE WOULD BE LEAVING TO GERMANY FOR AWHOLE YEAR. BUT I STILL FELL IN LOVE AND ITS HELPED THAT HE'S CUTE AND A TOTAL GENTLEMAN. ALSO SCHOOL GOT HARDER SO I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH TIME, ALL IN ALL RL WAS AT ITS FULLEST. SO WITH SCHOOL BITING MY ASS AND MY NEW BOYFRIEND I DIDNT HAVE MUCH TIME TO WRITE, THAT MIXED WITH ONE HELL OF A WRITERS BLOCK I ALMOST COULDNT FINISH THIS CHAPTER. ANYWAYS WE BROKE IT OFF THE DAY BEFORE HE LEFT FOR GERMANY AND IT HURT LIKE HELL WAS BURNING MY HEART. LTERALLY. NOW 2 MONTHS LATER HE TELL ME THAT HE HAS A FUCKING NEW GIRLFRIEND AND THAT INSPIRED THE END OF THIS CHAPTER. SO FOR NOW EDWARD AND ALL MEN EXCEPT MY DAD AND ADAM FROM MAROON 5 ARE FUCKING A-HOLES. **

**PLEASE REVIEW THAT MIGHT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. OH P.S. HE WAS THE FRIST ONE TO SAY THAT HE LOVED ME SO I THOUGHT HE DID TO FIND OUT THAT IM THAT EASY FORGOTTEN.**


	15. Chap15: All Thats Left Is Running

**CHAPTER 15**

"Bella, please I'm begging you, please talk to me." Edward said frantically, while chasing after me through the hotel lobby.

"Leave her the fuck alone Edward, you've done enough." Vicky said, while blocking him.

"What the fuck have I done for her to give me the fucking silence treatment, huh?" He argued.

At this point I had enough of him and just wanted some peace, which he wasn't helping me with, so I exploded.

"You want to know what the fuck you did? Well why don't you go fuck Tanya since all you have done with me is play me and lie to my fucking face like I'm some stupid idiot. Oh and while you're at it, say hi to Tanya for me, will you?" I said and stormed toward the elevator which was open for me to get in.

It's been a few weeks since everything went down with Edward but I still refused to talk to him. I just really didn't want an explanation from him since it was pretty obvious what had gone down between him and Tanya. Since I had caught them I've been writing a lot of new songs. Not all of them were sad, some were very deep and soulful and I really liked them. I had even been talking with Aro about making a new album; but I wasn't sure that I wanted to keep working with Edward, since it was just too much right now.

We are almost finished with the tour and at this point, since it was just like an introduction tour to bring me in and all, and the public had been great with me. The girls and I have also been talking a lot and between sound checks and traveling they've been on my ass about one of our constant security guys, Jacob and how he just can't take his eyes off of me. I've also been talking to him a lot and it turns out that he's from La Push, the reservation that's on the beach like two hours from my home town.

We are currently on our way toward our last venue here in Germany. I was really stressed about playing here since Germans are great fans of Tanya and I didn't want to disappoint them. A few hours later, I was in my prep room crying my eyes out. Alice was trying to comfort me but it was no use; I was a snotty, wet mess. After a few minutes I decided to grow a pair and just get this last concert over with. Two and a half hours later I was singing our last song, a cover we'd made from the song 'Running up that Hill' by Kate Bush.

_"It doesn't hurt me.  
Do you want to feel how it feels?  
Do you want to know that it doesn't hurt me?  
Do you want to hear about the deal that I'm making?  
You, it's you and me._

And if I only could,  
I'd make a deal with God,  
And I'd get him to swap our places,  
Be running up that road,  
Be running up that hill,  
Be running up that building.  
If I only could, oh...

You don't want to hurt me,  
But see how deep the bullet lies.  
Unaware I'm tearing you asunder.  
Ooh, there is thunder in our hearts.

Is there so much hate for the ones we love?  
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?  
You, it's you and me.  
It's you and me won't be unhappy.

And if I only could,  
I'd make a deal with God,  
And I'd get him to swap our places,  
Be running up that road,  
Be running up that hill,  
Be running up that building,  
Say, if I only could, oh...

_And if I only could,  
I'd make a deal with God,  
And I'd get him to swap our places,  
Be running up that road,  
Be running up that hill,  
With no problems._

C'mon, baby, c'mon darling,  
Let me steal this moment from you now.  
C'mon, angel, c'mon, c'mon, darling,  
Let's exchange the experience, oh...

And if I only could,  
I'd make a deal with God,  
And I'd get him to swap our places,  
Be running up that road,  
Be running up that hill,  
With no problems.

And if I only could,  
I'd make a deal with God,  
And I'd get him to swap our places,  
Be running up that road,  
Be running up that hill,  
With no problems."

And the crowd went crazy and then we were finally done. We were going to go back home and I couldn't be happier for the much needed, up-coming break.

* * *

**IF YOU LEAVE A REVIEW BELLA WILL FORGIVE EDWARD OTHERWISE SHE MAY OR MAY NOT GO TEAM JACOB.**


	16. AN

**A/N:**

**For those who have been reading my story I'm sorry for not uploading. RL has been really hard. Don't know when I'll post again... If ever.**

**Love you all.**

**RG94**


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